Cottage Cove - The New Job

The wonderful, beautiful thing about G-d is that His ways are not our ways.

Sometimes, He does things like take a girl who'd been planning to go into Marine Biology and have her move to Nashville and study Music Business.  Sometimes, He'll take that same Music Business Major and have her move to South Korea to teach English.  Sometimes, He'll take that English-teaching Music Business Major and have her join an urban-ministries after school program called Cottage Cove and become their newest program manager.

Cottage Cove is an after school program that focuses on the spiritual, educational, and artistic development of each of our students. (You can find more details about our program at the link above!) Every day, we work with  50-70 students, making sure they get their homework done, feeding them snacks (and dinner on longer days), and giving them opportunities for life skills and fine arts classes.

If you've paid attention to me at all, you already know that I adore my current job.

On April 11 of 2014, we are going to be closing on Cottage Cove's second facility in order to expand our reach to Madison, TN of the greater Nashville area.  This new facility is going to become my home away from home, and I will be in charge of running the day-to-day program there.  This is both exciting and daunting, but the staff here at our Nashville Vine Hill location is working with me and getting me trained.  Once I'm at Madison, we're going to be running the daily program and slowly renovating the building as time goes on, hopefully using it as an opportunity to expand our community (maybe even into yours!) and grow bonds.

Let me know if you're interested in coming by and seeing what we do, even getting involved!  But if you're looking for some immediate ways to make an impact, let me make a couple of suggestions:

1. Please pray!  Pray for our everyday operations.  Pray for the new facility.  Pray for the kids we serve and their families.  Pray for me and my attempts to return my Spanish-speaking abilities to their pre-Korea level (I'm primarily going to be working with kids from Hispanic backgrounds while I'm in Madison).
2. Please prayerfully consider donating to our closing costs on the new facility.  We are going to need $85,000 on April 11.  As of February 26, G-d had provided $40,000.  As is frequently His way, monetary things tend to come down to the wire around here, but He's always come through for us, and we know He will again.  Your gift of any amount will help a multitude of kids for years to come.

And, just so you know: The teen girl holding the banner is the same one featured on it years ago – now a volunteer.  This is a beautiful program that is really making a difference in the lives of the families it serves and the life of Nashville as a whole.

Carpe Diem and “Nae Soneul Jaba (내 손을 잡아)”

I want to take a moment to jump back to Korea.  I've been sitting on a secret for a few months now, and I can finally tell you:  My music students partnered with new, Philadelphia-based record label, FeedbackLoop to write and release an original song.  It's out this month, obtainable only by subscription.

The sign that adorns my music students' practice space also declares the name of their band.

It’s confusing, I know - What was I, an English teacher, doing with music students? Sometimes, it hits
me all over again, and I chuckle all the harder. When I originally came to Korea from Nashville two years ago, I thought I had left the music industry behind me. But, as the old saying goes, you can take the girl out of the industry, but you can’t take the industry out of the girl.

Every day, I’d sit at my desk waiting for it. I’d dread it. I tried to love it, but it wasn’t happening. I mean, there’s only so many times a girl can take hearing Gangnam Style wafting up through the floorboards. The school cover band met every day in the room immediately below mine, and I was starting to lose my mind. Winter break came and went all too quickly, and I soon found myself back at my desk, tensing for the opening notes of Psy’s hit that I knew would inevitably come… but was greeting instead by the opening strains of Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep.” For a couple of weeks, I listened through the floor, and then I contacted Justin.

The moment that started it all

The kids couldn’t believe what I was telling them when I explained to them that I, their English teacher, had worked in artist management before coming to Korea, and that I, their ENGLISH teacher, wanted to help them write and record a song to be put on a label in America. I’m still not convinced they believe me.

Kim (right) collaborated with another girl in the band, Ji-Hye Lee (left),
who quickly proved her musical worth as well.

Over the course of the semester, we practiced various songwriting techniques, and then we got down to business. One girl in particular, 김주향 (Ju-Hyang Kim), showed a particular interest in the project and came to me with half a song in nearly flawless English. I brought in a fellow Nashvillian-turned-English-teacher Ashley Harden to help guide her in the process (sadly, I have never been much of a lyricist) and sound engineer (also turned English teacher) Adam Thomas for engineer consultation and to direct and shoot the music video, and the rest is history.

Kim taught each player his or her part, down to the last
detail.  No chord bend or slide was there without her
having intended it to be.

Kim quickly proved her musical prowess, writing not just the lyrics but going on to also collaborate with 이지혜 (Ji-Hye Lee) in writing parts for each instrument. They made my job much easier than I thought it was going to be, leaving me with only a couple vocal coaching sessions and the recording process to do. Of course, I also had quite the job to do in refocusing the band, from time-to-time. After all, it is made entirely of 14-to-16-year-olds. The kids have exceeded every expectation I had of them, and I couldn’t be more proud.

Carpe Diem is a band comprised of and led by middle schoolers in South Korea.

Read more about what provoked my long-time friend Justin to take us on and bring you “Nae Soneul Jaba (내 손을 잡아)” - and how you can get your very own copy of it - here.

Goodbye, Korea

It's so hard to believe that two years (and one month) have come to an end.  It's crazy to think that in that short of a time I would have come to identify myself with a culture so distinctly different from the one into which I was born.  However, at the same time, I don't really fit there either.

Ever since I got my passport, I've felt my culture slipping away from me.  But never have I felt more like a cultural island than I do now.  I don't really find this to be a bad thing; I like the culture I've created for myself, gleaning from all of those that I've visited.  But it's going to be interesting when I enter back into America, where people will be expecting me to pick back up the American culture.  See, one of the joys of being waygookin is that there isn't very much that's expected of me.  For the most part, I'm free to be whatever I want.  I'm not sure how I'm going to react to being back in the States when that is gone.

Because here's the thing.

The plan has changed.

This doesn't surprise me, because the plan was based on Korean culture, in which things are likely to change drastically, even in the middle of implementation, but it will probably surprise those of you who are unused to Korean culture.

A couple of weeks ago, I found out that, due to governmental reasons in India, I would be unable to take up my position there.  At the same time, I was offered a missionary position in Australia, working with Aboriginal children.  As my pastor explained it to me, I became more and more disheartened by the prospect.  They're a group of children that have grown up in an environment that puts no emphasis on education, due to government hand-outs.  The stipends are actually large enough that the people don't really need to value education.  The community is also riddled with drug and alcohol abuse.  My pastor asked me to go and join the effort to convince this community of the value of education, a feat that has been attempted by many and successful by none, save the minimal progress our church has made.  In short, it sounded like all the things I like least about teaching.

With a clenched stomach, I asked my pastor for time to pray about it, and he gave me two weeks.

As many of you probably know by now, during that time, I made a quick trip back to the US.  I was overwhelmed by a desire to be there before I had to make the choice.  In the past, I have always felt trapped in the US, to the point that my family and I have assumed for many years that I would be spending all of my adult life living outside of the States.  Nevertheless, in the past months, I have been growing increasingly homesick.  I didn't mention it, chalking it up to this factor or that factor, but it didn't go away.  I wanted to see if it would if I stepped foot in the mother country, and all the opportunities lined up for me to do just that.  I found an incredibly cheap plane ticket.  Appointments got canceled (without my doing so).  Schedules were rearranged.  And I found myself on a flight back to Nashville.

As soon as I saw the city unfurl beneath the plane, I had my answer.  I've never felt like I had a home before, but seeing that city... I knew I finally had one.  I was so giddy I started giggling and bouncing my legs in excitement.  But I was reluctant to admit I had my answer.  I knew what I wanted, but I needed to make sure it lined up with what G-d wanted.  So I waited and prayed.

As much as everything went right in preparation for the trip, everything went wrong while I was there.  And yet, I was still overwhelmed with peace and excitement when I thought about moving back.  In the end, I gave into it, and though I felt frustrated with many things happening around me, I could center myself in knowing that I was on the right path in my decision to return to the States.

Upon my return to Korea, I spent the greater part of my first morning back in bed, mulling over my trip and my decision... and praying.  Oh, how I prayed!  And, suddenly, a plan washed over me... It was like it was being shown to me in its completeness rather than developing as I laid there.

It is now my intention to go to graduate school to pursue a masters in Music Therapy with the ultimate goal of opening the Jim Foglesong Center for Fine Arts, which will be both a fine arts school and therapy center.  I have so many ideas for it that I could write and write about it, but I think I'd overwhelm you all, so I'll save that for another time.

The moral of the story is this: I'm coming back, and I know that I am on G-d's path.  I don't know if that path will end where I think it will right now, but I do know that it's the right one.

Incidentally, this also means that I will have to make severe cuts to my travel plans, as I need to be preparing for an audition on December 7.

Thank you for all of your love and support.

New beginnings...

The Plan

It's about time I told you this.

I have a PLAN!!!

We're still hammering out some details, but I should tell you about it before it becomes so commonplace in my head that I forget to tell you.  Here it goes:

I'm leaving Korea on September 23.

I will be in Thailand, volunteering with Home & Life Orphanage Foundation until the 23rd of October.  But I will leave Thailand on the 27th.

From Thailand, I'll head back to the States (with a 6 hour layover in Incheon, so, Korea friends, help me pass that time!!!), ultimately ending up in Atlanta.  I've got a lot of people I'd like to visit, and I'm thinking about following this path:

View in Google Maps

If you recognize yourself on that map, or if you're not on that map and you should be, let's talk.  I'm going to be needing help with transportation as well, so I'm really, really hoping that you can assist there. 

I'm thinking of trying to fit this all into November and December (ending by Christmas).

Currently, it's looking like I'll be heading back out in February.  My Korean church has asked me to go join their missionaries in India, working at a school that focuses on working with children from the slums.  Currently, we have not set an end date for that.  I will be needing to raise ALL of my own support for that, so, not to worry, you'll definitely be hearing more from me on that.  I may not have definite details until December for that, so I'll probably have a very short time to raise a considerable amount of money.  I'm not stressed about it (yet), though, because I know that if G-d wants me there, He will bring the money in.  I've never had a problem with that before, and I don't think that I will start now.  (Please pray!)

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, and I'm looking forward to reporting on my upcoming adventures.

111 Days until I touch down in the U.S. of A.

The G-word

And the L-word.  And B-word.  And the T-word.

I think it's odd the LGBT culture incites such explosions within the Church, that homosexuality and everything else we associate with it is one of the leading hot topics in Christianity.  To be honest, I'm actually blown away by the number of things that we could substitute for that cleanly that would not affect the point of what I'm about to say.

The topic of homosexuality reportedly only crossed Jesus' lips a debatable one or two times.  Now, I know this is the start of an argument with which you're probably familiar, but I'm not going down that road.  What I mean to say is this:

I'm not saying Jesus does or doesn't approve of LGBT people.  I'm saying that Jesus had other things He wanted us to deal with before we ever began that debate.

When you think about how many times Jesus mentions orphans or children, how many times He mentions feeding the hungry, how many times He mentions caring for widows and the elderly, how many times He mentions lust, how many times He mentions selflessness... Suddenly, we realize that there is an entirely different picture in play.

Have you ever noticed how our favorite pass times involve pointing out what we deem to be flaws in others?  It's a lot easier than turning inward and working on ourselves.  In fact, in my own way, I'm doing it right now.  We love to say our piece.  We hate it when that piece is aimed at us.  But that doesn't mean it's right.

1 Corinthians 12:12-26 : Unity and Diversity in the Body

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now, imagine this:
Picture a Church where each member of the body delved into the scriptures, focusing solely on the message G-d had for him or her that day, and, rather than going and talking about the amazing "word G-d had given" that day, put it into practice and let the word speak for itself.  Can you imagine how this Church would change the world?  Can you imagine how the Church would unite?

I think we're missing a critical part of G-d by being so focused on slashing fallacies out of our brothers and sisters.  Very few are called to be surgeons, and those who are never approach a person with a sword to do their work.  The rest of us are called to wait anxiously in the waiting room, praying and pacing, hoping and supporting each other in body, the patient in spirit.  Before we open our mouths, perhaps we should ask ourselves: What role have I been called to play?  What role am I trying to play with my words?

I see no record of Christ calling us to focus more on what other people are doing wrong than what we are doing wrong.  We're called to be constantly improving ourselves, constantly growing closer to Him, constantly focusing on Him.  If we start nit picking at someone else's life, we divert our attention; we're no longer gazing solely at G-d, we're staring intensely at another person.  How much do we sabotage ourselves in the name of "helping" others?

I would be thrilled if we could set aside this debate in favor of something more productive.  Let's focus on doing the things that Christ made painstakingly clear.  Let's make sure that we ourselves are aligned with Him, before we start trying to mold others into our own images.  Yes, we are called to make disciples, but we are called to make HIS disciples, not our own.  This means that there are going to be times when the people we helped to bring to Christ are going to act in ways that would be different than our inclinations.  We can point this out to them, lovingly, but, in the end, the most we can do for them is point them back to G-d and pray.  The key here is that it all hinges on relationships.  A stranger cannot permeate your  beliefs and opinions, cannot change your actions.  Only a personal, loving relationship can introduce someone to a personal, loving relationship with G-d, which will then induce change.  So, if you truly wanted someone to change and weren't just in it for the sport of bullying people, wouldn't you make a point of seeking out the people with whom you disagreed and attempting to build a relationship with them?  I know Christ did...

Just some thoughts that have been bothering me lately.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:3-5

Kristin

Kristin is the little ray of sunshine in my week.  She's got a Korean name, too, but she generally goes by her English one, and, as always, I'm quite keen to protect the privacy of the younger people in my life.

I met Kristin through her brother.  He was a student at my school last year.  I met him during sports (read: field) day when he flipped over the handlebars of a bike, landing on another student.  I was the first teacher on the scene.  He was fine, but the next day he tracked me to my classroom.  I thought for sure I was being sued.  But no, he just wanted me to tutor his younger sister.  I agreed, very warily.  You see, I cannot accept money for any job I do here outside of working for the public schools.  To do so gives Korea grounds for my expulsion.  So I made it clear repeatedly: I will not be accepting money for what I was doing.  Her parents were uncomfortable with this, but they found ways to make up for it, mostly by way of food.

Kristin and I started meeting weekly, quickly going well over our allotted hour of study time.  I found myself thoroughly enjoying our time together, especially since she didn't really need much tutoring.  She had gone to an international school in Prague, where she had learned English.  Somehow, she'd managed to retain it, despite living in Korea for the vast majority of her life.  (Don't you wish you could learn languages the way kids do?)

One day, I don't really remember how it came up, we started talking about religion.  She had no idea what I was talking about, despite my attempting to incorporate the Korean words I knew on the topic.  To make my point, I told the story of my religion and my faith in Christ.  Halfway through, she understood what I meant by the word "religion," but, having had the opportunity to witness to her opened, I wasn't about to stop; I continued my story.  At the end, she looked me in the face and said,

"Is it okay for me to love [Jesus] if my family loves [Buddha]?"

I told her it was, and she told me that she wanted to follow Christ.  We prayed, and, from that week on, our English lessons turned into lessons about Christ and His teachings with the help of the Korean-English Bible my church had given me.  The Bible daunted her, but she was eager to learn the stories from me.

To be honest, I didn't expect her decision to stick.  I fervently prayed that her fear of her family finding out wouldn't overwhelm her (as she was terrified).  I found myself on my face, begging G-d to guide me on the right path and keep me from saying something wrong to her.  I asked Him to teach her Himself, and lock her into His love.

Weeks went by, and never once did she waver.  But she was scared.  Oh, she was scared.  So I made a bold move.  I invited her to church.

It was Shrove Tuesday, and the English church was having a pancake supper.  The pastor's daughter was the same age as Kristin, and I thought they would get along.  Figuring I could sell it on the English angle, I asked her parents.  I'm sure my face voiced all of my surprise when they agreed she could go. Even up to the last moment, I kept expecting a call to say she was cancelling, but it never came.  Her father even drove us to the church, promising to pick us up afterward.  I was confused, but I was happy, and even happier when Kristin and the pastor's daughter disappeared to go play computer games together.  Kristin had such a wonderful time that she ran up to her father when he reappeared and told him that she was planning to go to church every week from then on.  He was shocked, but he wasn't discouraging.

Her mom, however, was not in that same boat.  Her mom was clearly uncomfortable with what was happening, but she never showed me anything but the utmost friendliness and respect.  I feel bad about that, but I know that in the grand scheme of things, it's more important for me to make her uncomfortable at this point.

Then, things started to make me realize how entirely in G-d's hands the whole situation was:

• I bought Kristin a children's Bible story book in Korean.  She read it cover to cover every week without any prompting.
• I tried to explain simplified versions of things like the Trinity.  She corrected me.
• I found a pack of tarot cards in her room, and briefly explained what they were and what the Bible says about them.  She asked me to destroy them.
• Her mom consulted with a fortune teller about the situation.  The fortune teller said "it would be bad for [Kristin] to be allowed to keep her Bible in her room," so the Bible was moved.  The story book, however, was allowed to stay.

I asked G-d for help, and slowly started feeling like I should have her memorizing scripture.  So we made that move, and I couldn't believe the results.  Suddenly, her Bible had moved back into her room. She told me that her dad was helping her to memorize them.  At first, I felt like he was off-put by it, but within a couple weeks, she was telling me how much he liked the assignment.  In fact, he was trying to memorize them too.  I don't know if there's anything to read into that aside from the fact that memorizing English scripture resonates with the way that most Korean people like to learn English (memorizing phrases and conversations), but I'm hopeful, I'm amazed, and I'm excited to be part of this journey.

"Let there be no division among you..."

Today I was overwhelmed by a desire for unity within the Church.  I feel it's Christ's desire more than my own.  I think it pains Him to hear us discount various denominations, to ignore them in our counts of "churches" from our missionary work, to follow the teachings of one train of thought unquestioningly, to fear each other for are differing beliefs.

Personally, I wish we could disband them entirely.

Today's post won't be long; I think that expresses my thoughts well enough on the topic.

A couple of impressive young men

Middle School is a hard time.  I would know... I went to three different ones, and none of it was easy.  I think that's why I find it most impressive when a middle schooler does something of character.  I think it takes extra strength to push past all of the hormones, self-discovery, and outside forces to shine through by doing something Good.  I want to take a moment to praise two young men who pushed through all of that on the last day before a long weekend.  These might not be impressive at first, but mull them over; I think you'll see what I mean.

The first is the less obvious example.  It requires a quick culture lesson, though.  One of the things that blows my mind in Korea is the relative lack of supervision the kids have here (ok, in my mind, it's more like an absolute lack of supervision).  They're allowed to do whatever they want, which usually means they're running around, screaming in the halls, and beating on each other.  This stops anywhere between 5-10 minutes after the bell rings to start class and is picked up again the moment class is over, although it often occurs more quietly during classes as well.  I know.  It's not at all what you pictured of Korean schools, but I assure you it's true.  Knowing that, it may be less surprising to you that I had noticed a slap fight starting in the back of my classroom, but ignored it in favor of finishing setting up.  I normally break those up pretty early in an effort to maintain a semi-Western-style classroom (in the name of culture lessons - not comfort, of course...), but not last Thursday.  Well, when I looked up again, something felt not quite right about it, but, by the time I processed what it was, it was too late.  The slaps had been getting harder, until one boy started punching the other in the face.  I could hear the impacts from the front of the room.  I kicked my shoes off and ran to the back of the room, bellowing "YAH!" before I grabbed the hitter from behind in a sort of bear hug, pinning his arms to his side.  The impressive part was that, instead of struggling against me, letting his adrenaline push him forward and out of my grasp (which would have been easy, as he's roughly a head taller than me), he went limp in my arms.  We both stood there, breathing heavily for about 30 seconds before I heard him say,

"Teacher, no fight."
"Yeah, I know 'No fight.'  That's exactly right."  I didn't let him go.  I didn't trust him.
"No, teacher.  No fight."
"Okay..." I said, slowly loosening my grip, waiting to see his next move.  I backed up, and still he stayed where he was.  He turned to meet my eyes.
"No fight."

I was proud of him, even in that moment.  I directed him and the other boy to sit at opposing sides of the back of my room, while sending another to go get a Korean teacher who I knew would be fair and would get to the bottom of what had happened.  The hitter was normally pretty quiet, while the hittee is pretty wide open and has a tendency to speak his mind, so I figure there's a decent chance that the hitter was provoked... not that that justifies rearranging someone's face, but it does justify further investigation.
Even in this moment, I glow with pride at the amazing amount of self-control this kid showed as soon as I got involved.  I don't like the situation, but I do like his actions once within it.

The second young man I want to lift up is more classic in the category of praise.  After school on Thursday, I prayed that G-d would provide me with some kids to take next door to the grilled cheese shop and buy a snack.  Well, He's generally more than happy to answer that prayer.  As I came out of the door of the school, there were about 8 kids sitting on the ground, waiting around for an after-school class.  I talked to them a little bit, mostly about their love lives.  One girl had just broken up with her boyfriend; one girl was yelling up to a third floor window to talk with her "husband;" one boy was gushing to me about how pretty his girlfriend was; one girl wanted to tell me about how she was chatting on an instant messaging service with her boyfriend.  All in all, I felt pretty honored to have them let me into their world.  The trick is that most of it was being relayed by the one boy who felt comfortable using English.  They all wanted to talk to me and I to them, but we needed a translator, and he was fully willing to help - never a sigh, never an eye rolled, breaking off mid-conversation when someone beckoned.  What's more, at the sandwich shop, he made a point of making sure the girls all got their food first, saying "Ladies first," when I looked at him in surprise.  You don't see that much anymore, but it was really nice.

And that, my friends, is me publicly praising two of my many amazing young people at my school.  Or, as my friends at Blimey Cow would say, "That is me supporting my local chivalry."

The Demon-Possessed Man: Part 9 - Stay

<<Part 8

The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return home and tell how much G-d has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.  -Luke 8:38-39

There are so many things on which I could make little comments in these verses that it's tempting to me to expand this post into two.  I may still do that, as it's incredibly hard for me to leave this series with only 9 installments, but I also have some other things I want to share with you, and it's hard for me to do that with this series weighing on my mind, saying "But you need to finish meeeeee!"  I hope that it's been as enlightening for you as it has been for me as I've studied this passage.

So, here we go... as far as I know, the last part:

I'm going to start with a tidbit, something worth noting.  Please re-read the first ten-words.  Suddenly, our Demon-Possessed Man has a new handle.  In spite of living a significant portion of his life one way, this one incident completely redefined him, and history makes a point of noting that.  So the next time you feel like you're too stuck in your patterns or that no one will allow you to change (or you're doing that to someone else), remember that this man, who was, I'm sure, far more extreme than you, had his moniker changed for all of time in a mere 14 verses.  (Moral of the story: Don't get stuck in your opinions of anyone, including yourself.)

Now, on to the crux of the matter, the confusing way I left you last time.   (Sorry about that.)  

Jesus leaves us when we ask.

But He doesn't.

But He does.

At this point, we've got two very legitimate, very weighty verses competing.  In the red corner:  Luke 8:37 (Then all the people of the region of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them, because they were overcome with fear. So he got into the boat and left.)  In the blue corner, the double-headed, most quoted option out there: Deuteronomy 31:6 / Hebrews 13:5 (Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.)  And, just for you, I'm going to leave out any contextual, devil's-advocate-type argument I could make here.  You're welcome.

These two verses, I'm sure, cause a lot of stress for those who look at them lifted from their passages.  Because, in this form, they really do seem to be contradicting each other.  But I'm here to tell you today that they're not.  They are resolved in the verse I highlighted today.

Again, today, we see begging.  But this time, Christ does not give into it.  In fact, we see more of the response I was expecting Him to give the demons.  He tells the Man from whom the Demons Had Gone Out to leave.  To go away.  But He also gives the Man FWTDHGO an important instruction more: "Tell how much G-d has done for you."  Essentially, Jesus tells the man to go back to the city and share his testimony.  Christ has been asked to leave, and He complies, but He leaves His messenger, a bit of Himself with the people nonetheless.  We may ask Christ to leave, but he will always leave us with some of Himself, aching for us to accept Him.

But let's turn to the MFWTDHGO for a moment.  This guy knew what he wanted.  He had been drastically changed by Christ's intervening love.  He wanted desperately to drop everything and follow Him right then and there, leaving it all behind and trekking across the country after Christ.  He begged Christ to let Him, and Christ said, "No."  Speaking as one who has heard that "No," that moment is devastating.  It's confusing, it's painful, it's crushing.  It feels like betrayal.  Yet the MFWTDHGO picks himself up and follows orders.  I can't help but think that this was a little easier for him, since he had seen the people reject Christ and knew that He needed a voice there still.  But we often aren't given the big picture while we're still given the command that goes against the deepest desire of our hearts.  That's hard.

We have these life-changing, mountain-top experiences, and all we want to do is cling to them.  We are given new insight into the Word, and all we want to do is study more.  We find peace, and all we want to do is dive into its depths.  But this... this isn't the way G-d works.  That is an entirely self-driven religion, and Christ-following has to do with everything but the self.

We cannot see the big picture, know what G-d knows, or understand G-d's reasoning (usually).  We have to admit this, because this is the first and most crucial step of trust.  If we can admit this and cling to His goodness, then and only then can we trust Him and say as Christ says a mere 14 chapters later, "Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." (Luke 22:42 KJV)   Ultimately, this should be the cry of any Christ-follower.  This is the fullest sacrifice of praise, to cry out the the pain and despair of broken personal dreams and scream NOT MY WILL, BUT THINE!  Until we can do this, we are nothing but self-seekers.  Once we cross the line, we are called, we are sent, and we are crucified with Christ.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  -Mathew 16:24-25

1. Tombs
2. Recognition
3. Familiarity
4. Impure
5. Solitary Places
6. Respect
7. Fear
8. Leave
9. Stay

Thank you for reading.  Please feel free to leave any questions or comments below.

Even still...

Words cannot express how deeply saddened by what happened in Boston. This is all I have to offer.

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
-1 Thessalonians 5:15-18 (NIV)

I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
-Psalm 34:1 (KJV)

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.
-Hebrews 13:15 (ESV)

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
-Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
-John 1:4-5 (NIV)

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
-1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)

The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.
-Romans 13:12 (NIV)

O G-d, who brought us to birth,

and in whose arms we die,

in our grief and shock

contain and comfort us;

embrace us with your love,

give us hope in our confusion

and grace to let go into new life;

through Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Common Worship: Pastoral Services (p238)

The Demon Possessed Man: Part 6 - Respect

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Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“Legion,” he replied, because many demons had gone into him. And they begged Jesus repeatedly not to order them to go into the Abyss. A large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside. The demons begged Jesus to let them go into the pigs, and he gave them permission. When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned.

-Luke 8:30-33

This is a section of the Bible that is incredibly near and dear to my heart.  I find it so profound that it's hard for me to add my own thoughts to it.  It's one of those things that I think loses its luster if I try to break it down.  Nevertheless, I recognize that what I see as obvious in these verses may not be as obvious to other people, so I will do my best to explain what I read in it as eloquently as possible.

It all starts with four simple words: "What is your name?"  That's where personhood begins in our minds.  It's easy for us to ignore others, to devalue them... until we know their names.  Then everything is amplified.  (This isn't as strong if we don't already have a face to attach to the name, but I think the name is what gives it definition.)  Don't believe me?  Say these sentences out loud:

That guy makes me sick.
Joseph Kony makes me sick.

That man gives me hope.
Pope Francis gives me hope.

Of course, this exercise works better if you know who these men are, but let's just assume you do (and, if you don't, substitute in the names of people you do know).  Now, ask yourself, which sentence elicited a stronger response?  Names make a difference.  It becomes infinitely harder to dehumanize someone after you have a name for them.  (The reverse is true, too, a tactic employed by Ralph Ellison, the Nazi army, the Borg, and many others... Although the true unnamed protagonist is the only complete example I can give you.)

So what's so profound about that?  Well, the profundity is found in the speaker (Christ) and his addressee (a... demon).  By asking the demon for his name, Christ is essentially saying, "I don't want to de-value you."  [Insert the sound of my mind blowing here.]  We've all heard it said that we should love our enemies (Matthew 5:44), but I think even the most G-dly of us only took this imagery to that of Christ praying for those who were try to kill Him.  Seriously, who has ever pictured this to mean that Christ loves, and even prays for demons (possibly even Satan?!)?  And yet, there He is, showing respect and value for a demon.

"What is your name?"

But wait.  There's more.

My mind would be blown even if He left it there.  But, in true Jesus-fashion, He doesn't.  The demons turn around and beg Him to not throw them back in the Abyss.  They even say, "Please, please, please, please let us experience drowning rather than make us go back there!"(Side Note: How horrible must hell be for them to beg Christ to let them drown rather than return to it?)  Every time I read this, there's a part of me that expects Christ to reply, "Away from me, you vile creature!  Have you not brought this upon yourself?  Return to your prince of darkness."  I think there's ample Biblical evidence that would allow for eyelids to remain un-batted at this response.  But that's not what Christ says.  Christ turns everything about human justice on its head with His answer.

"...He gave them permission."

So let's review:

1. Christ meets a demon.
2. The demon recognizes Christ.
3. Christ doesn't assess the demon as a purely evil, lost cause.
4. Christ is polite to the demon.
5. The demon is polite back to Christ.
6. The demon begs for mercy.
7. Christ gives the demon the mercy it wanted.

All this with the henchman of the guy who tried to take over Christ's Kingdom, failed, convinced a third of the angels to abandon Christ with him, and continues to try to take over/get even by swaying Christ's beloved children to follow him.

And you think you can't be civil to the annoying person at the desk next to you?

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." -Matthew 5:43-48

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The Demon Possessed Man: Part 5 - Solitary Places

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...he had broken his chains and had been driven by the demon into solitary places. -Luke 8:29b

I sit here, writing to you as a self-acknowledged introvert, currently sitting in the beautiful relief that is the solitude of my office (one of my office-mates decided he's going to eat earlier than everyone else and spend his lunch breaks in the office with me... Needless to say, I'm feeling a little frazzled right now), I can't help but find this verse poignant.  I am the queen of solitude.  I go on vacations by myself and weeks will go by without me speaking to anyone.  I am well on my way to a promising career as a hermit.  That's not to say that I'm not out-going.  I'm the most outgoing introvert you'll ever meet.  I talk to people; I socialize... But I do prefer to spend my Friday nights working late then curling up with a good book.  And I definitely need time to myself, or else I find myself on the verge of a meltdown (Thank you, Sensory Integration Dysfunction).  In my world, solitude is one step from Heaven... until it's not.

Like all people, I get lonely.  Sometimes, even in the midst of a SID attack, all I want is people (well, specific people) around me, assuring me that everything is going to be okay and I will make it to the other side of this attack, just like I have every other attack before it.  Frequently, I regret my pattern of solo Friday nights, especially when I try to call friends and they all have plans - who can I blame but myself for that?

A while ago, I began to wonder why this was.  "Clearly," I thought, "G-d made me for solitude as a general rule."  G-d would be my all, and I would follow him.  Why else would He have made it so hard for me to be around other people?  But then, I joined a small group, and that small group was studying Christian communities.  I was quickly exasperated by the topic.  I didn't want anyone telling me I needed community, especially not the kind intimated by the group.  Sure, I wanted friends, but not ones who had rights to my time as they pleased and certainly not ones who felt it acceptable to speak into my life whether I wanted to hear from them or not.  That was the kind of community we studied, and I'd had enough of it within two weeks.

But slowly, ever so slowly, I began to wonder if they were right.

Here's the thing, G-d Himself is always in perfect community.  He never leaves it.  He's never left it.  He never will leave it.  Because He Himself is perfect community.  There's G-d the Father, G-d the Son, and G-d the Holy Ghost.  They're the 3-in-1: The Perfect Community.

Do you understand what Christ gave up to come to us?

He left a perfect community that He had known for all of eternity to come to a world that thrived on alienation.  He left a perfect community that had to turn its back on Him at the most trying part of His life, because He became tainted by our sins while on the cross.  He left a perfect community that was, in essence, the definition of who He was to face the cruelty of humanity on His own.

It's no wonder He was always surrounded by His friends.  He had His followers; He had His disciples; He had the apostles; and then He had the inner circle of Peter, James, and John.  Only on the rarest of instances did He set off "alone," and, when He did, Luke reports to us that He wasn't really alone, but, rather, "full of the Holy Spirit." (4:1)

In American culture, we're tempted to call this a weakness.  What?  He couldn't even handle being on His own for a bit?  I remember when I had to...  But, I ask you, when is it ever easy to constantly be around people (and keep them coming back for more)?  This is one of those moments when American thinking is just flat-out wrong.  Community isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of G-dliness.

We are called into perfect community because G-d is perfect community.  When we accept G-d into our lives, we become part of Him, and He becomes a part of us.  As He does this for all believers, we become a part of every believer as well, just as they become a part of us.  We are designed to crave this; that is why loneliness happens at all.  We aren't supposed to be alone.  That's the first lesson G-d ever taught us:

The L-RD G-d said, "It is not good for the man to be alone..." -Genesis 2:18

So... Why are we so intent on it, then?  Simple.  Satan knows we can't handle a lack of community.  He knows that "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:12)  He brings us apart on our own to try to pull us away.  There is nothing to sharpen us, to challenge us if we're on our own.  No ways to show love; no ways to show Christ.  Without the body, how can we be in G-d?

Thoughts to think about.

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The Demon-Possessed Man: Part 4 - Impure

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For Jesus had commanded the impure spirit to come out of the man. Many times it had seized him, and though he was chained hand and foot and kept under guard, he had broken his chains... - Luke 8:29

It's interesting to me that most Bibles translate this word as "impure."  I'm not going to go off and do a word study here.  Don't worry.  I've never looked at this passage in Greek, and, therefore, have never even begun to analyze if that's a good translation of the word or not.  But I do know that impure/unclean is the vast preference of translation, leaving only three that I found with "evil" as the translation, one "vile" and one "foul" (the latter two, I found later to be closer synonyms to impure than evil).  I think it warrants a pause there that most people agree that Luke did not refer to Legion as evil, but rather impure.  It makes a big difference.

I think we can all agree on things that come from evil.

The employ of child soldiers comes from evil.

School shootings come from evil.

Death camps come from evil.

Serial killings come from evil.

Genocide comes from evil.

Slander comes from evil.

Torture comes from evil.

Abuse comes from evil.

Rape comes from evil.

These are all decently straight forward.  I've left some off the list on account of thinking they may be more accurately traced to selfishness or fear... which is another post for another day.  I think we all have taken time to wonder if the people who committed such atrocities were demon-possessed.  But Luke seems to hint here that "evil" isn't the usual M.O. of demons.  (After all, Legion is called Legion on the claim that it is not just one demon but many.)  Rather, Luke appears to be indicating that the impure is a more accurate indicator of possession.

What if I were to make a list of things rooted in impurity?

Just for kicks, I went to my favorite thesaurus and looked up the word "impure."  This is what I found:

admixed, adulterated, alloyed, carnal, coarse,common, contaminated, corrupt, debased, defiled,desecrated, diluted, dirty, doctored, filthy, foul,gross*, grubby, immodest, immoral, indecent,infected, lewd, nasty, not pure, obscene, polluted,profaned, smutty, squalid, sullied, tainted,unchaste, unclean, unrefined, unwholesome, vile,vitiated, weighted, wicked

I've highlighted a couple of those in bold, hoping to attract your attention with them, whereas I want to focus in on two of those words myself.  If Luke is suggesting that it is demonic influence that brings about the impure, then it would indicate that he is suggesting in turn that that which is common, that which is diluted (read: watered-down) is based upon the demonic.  As followers of G-d, we are called to be set apart from the world, to be uncommon, to be concentrated in Him.

As I type this, I can't help but think about the orange juice my mom used to keep in the fridge at all times when I was little.  She's one of the few people I know that would make juice from concentrate; perhaps that's why that word always triggers the image of orange juice for me.  I remember one time, I was convinced I had found my way around the system of healthy eating:  I would get to the juice before she added water to it.  That was sure to make it taste better. (Honestly, I didn't think it tasted all that bad to begin with, but I thought I liked sweet things back then.)  So I got the can from the freezer, let it thaw, and tried to drink it.  Oh, I was definitely in for a surprise on that one.  I could barely keep it in my mouth.  The flavor was too much.  I couldn't handle it.

These days, our society encourages us to conform, to act in ways that make the people around us more comfortable.  (Seriously, just try going out for breakfast with your friends and telling them that you don't want to eat bacon for religious reasons.)  They don't mind us following G-d, they may even like that we do, but they do mind when we "take it too far," or become "a little much."  Faith is fine, just as long as it's mixed with the amount of water recommended on the nice, neat, little package they've wrapped around us.  If I'm right, Luke is telling us that to give into this encouragement is to give into the suggestion of demons.  We are supposed to be making people uncomfortable.  We're supposed to be making them think.  We're supposed to be using our every move as a witness.  We're supposed to be presented still-concentrated.  (And we're supposed to be spit out. "You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." -Matthew 10:22)

For many of us, this becomes a burden that we are unwilling to bear.  I suppose if juice concentrates could talk, they might tell us they feel similarly.  They might call from the freezer, "HEY!  YOU!  Get that pitcher out; turn on that water!  Drink me!  I want to be a part of you, of your life!  I want you to love me!"  Or... Maybe we just call that out every day by our actions.  We want to be liked.  We want everyone to love us, and, as a result, we feel the calling to be uncommon as chains holding us back from the world that rejects all things different.  We fail to see that these "chains" are nothing more than the demarcation between G-d and the world.  We see them as chains, when, in reality, they are the hands of Christ.

I'm not the only one who feels this way, so I feel confident that I'm not writing from way off in left field (Which reminds me: Baseball Season is back!  Can I get a "Hallelujah!"?!).  C.S. Lewis was writing about this idea back before my grandparents even knew each other.  In fact, he spent the entirety of The Screwtape Letters one this subject.  Let me share one of the more quoted passages from the book, because I feel that Lewis can make my point far more eloquently than I'd ever be able to.  (In case you've never read the books, they're written from the perspective of an old demon (Screwtape) writing to his young nephew (Wormwood) on how to better further the cause of their "father below.")  It's brilliantly written:

Then Sunday morning came. The Enemy reappeared. Suddenly, he was alive. Death could not hold him. But it was even worse than that. He had become an innocent sacrifice for the sins of all those humans. He had paid their penalty. He had died in their place. Now death could not hold them either. They could be forgiven and reunited with the Enemy. They can now live forever. For all practical purposes, death has died. There has never been a more disastrous day in the history of the universe.

That, my dear Wormwood, is the whole sad truth.

There is only one thing we can do. We must redouble our efforts. We must do everything we can to make sure that these humans do not believe in Jesus. And if they do believe then make them lukewarm and too busy with other things to be of any use to him. 

We have some reason to hope. Much of the media help us. And there is such a climate of pleasure-seeking and materialism that often the Christians aren't any different from anybody else. Many Christians are uncommitted. Some are hypocrites. And we have got many sincere people convinced they are so guilty that they have no hope. Others are bitter and have closed their ears to the message of the Resurrection. Others are just self-satisfied and only care about now.

This was Lewis' message in 1942.  Can you believe that it's possible for a message from then to apply so directly, word-for-word to today's people?  What's more, John writes the same thing in Revelation 3:14-22 (ESV) 2,000 years before Lewis:

And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: "The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God's creation. 

“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor,blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire {I talk about this halfway through this post}, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock.If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

It is painstakingly obvious to me that we are called to a life outside of the comfort zone - both our own and that of those around us.

Do NOT misinterpret me, though.  There is a fine line to living outside of your comfort zone and alienating people from Christ.  Be passionate and undiluted, but do so with respect and love for your fellow creations of G-d.  (Note: Showing respect does not mean that you don't offend the people around you.  Christ offended people frequently - Check out Matthew 15 for starters on this - but He still had perfect Love.  Find a balance.)

I feel I could probably write more and more on this, but we'd probably start going in circles at this point, so I'm going to leave you here.  Hopefully I'll get back to you soon with more.

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The Demon-Possessed Man: Part 3 - Familiarity

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"What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High G-d? I beg you, don't torture me!" - Luke 8:28

The ending to this verse is interesting to me. Think about it for a second. The demons in this man recognized Jesus in an instant, despite His earthly body (and, let's face it, that's an accomplishment, seeing as our Heavenly bodies would have no reason to look anything like our earthly ones). They knew Jesus, and announced for anyone who would hear who he was, and, yet, they were afraid of Him. It amazes me that they could know his presence so well and, yet, not know Him at all.

How often do we do this?

The demons beg Christ not to torture them. That always shocks me. It makes me wonder - Is there a side to Christ we don't know? Because the Christ I know wouldn't torture even the most annoying mosquito. Sure, G-d is reported as being a G-d of wrath and vengeance, but every time the Bible mentions torture, it's plain that someone other than G-d is doing it. Maybe G-d has allowed it to happen, but it's not His M.O.

So why would the demons feel the need to beg Christ not to torture them?

It occurred to me that perhaps the demons were superimposing their vision of leadership/godliness onto G-d. They had only been presented with one image of leadership, and that was the one Satan provided, so, why wouldn't they assume Christ would act any differently?  If the example of torture was all they'd seen, it would make sense for them to expect Christ to torture them as well.  It's not a perfect analogy, but this scene somewhat reminds me of when Dobby meets Harry in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets:

"Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but never has he been asked to sit down by a wizard, like an equal."

The demons are a bit more bold than Dobby, making their request outright, but I think we can see a similar sentiment here.  Both are super-imposing a lesser master's actions onto a greater being, and both end up being incredibly wrong in their assumptions of the greater beings' natures.

Here's the turnaround that you've been anticipating: 

How often do we do this?  How often do we super-impose the actions of our lesser master onto the nature of G-d?

Did you see what I did there?  Did you catch it?

If we are making wrong assumptions about the nature of Christ, I would dare say it's because we don't know Him, because we're serving some other master.

Granted, we're never going to know G-d in His entirety; He is beyond our comprehension, but our spirits commune with His, and they can tell us about the nature of G-d.  They can keep us following Him and anticipating His next move.  They can whisper when something is not of G-d and stir our hearts toward Him.

By listening to our spirits, we will never feel the need to beg Christ not to torture us, for we will know His true nature.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28

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