Cottage Cove - The New Job

The wonderful, beautiful thing about G-d is that His ways are not our ways.

Sometimes, He does things like take a girl who'd been planning to go into Marine Biology and have her move to Nashville and study Music Business.  Sometimes, He'll take that same Music Business Major and have her move to South Korea to teach English.  Sometimes, He'll take that English-teaching Music Business Major and have her join an urban-ministries after school program called Cottage Cove and become their newest program manager.

Cottage Cove is an after school program that focuses on the spiritual, educational, and artistic development of each of our students. (You can find more details about our program at the link above!) Every day, we work with  50-70 students, making sure they get their homework done, feeding them snacks (and dinner on longer days), and giving them opportunities for life skills and fine arts classes.

If you've paid attention to me at all, you already know that I adore my current job.

On April 11 of 2014, we are going to be closing on Cottage Cove's second facility in order to expand our reach to Madison, TN of the greater Nashville area.  This new facility is going to become my home away from home, and I will be in charge of running the day-to-day program there.  This is both exciting and daunting, but the staff here at our Nashville Vine Hill location is working with me and getting me trained.  Once I'm at Madison, we're going to be running the daily program and slowly renovating the building as time goes on, hopefully using it as an opportunity to expand our community (maybe even into yours!) and grow bonds.

Let me know if you're interested in coming by and seeing what we do, even getting involved!  But if you're looking for some immediate ways to make an impact, let me make a couple of suggestions:

1. Please pray!  Pray for our everyday operations.  Pray for the new facility.  Pray for the kids we serve and their families.  Pray for me and my attempts to return my Spanish-speaking abilities to their pre-Korea level (I'm primarily going to be working with kids from Hispanic backgrounds while I'm in Madison).
2. Please prayerfully consider donating to our closing costs on the new facility.  We are going to need $85,000 on April 11.  As of February 26, G-d had provided $40,000.  As is frequently His way, monetary things tend to come down to the wire around here, but He's always come through for us, and we know He will again.  Your gift of any amount will help a multitude of kids for years to come.

And, just so you know: The teen girl holding the banner is the same one featured on it years ago – now a volunteer.  This is a beautiful program that is really making a difference in the lives of the families it serves and the life of Nashville as a whole.

The Plan

It's about time I told you this.

I have a PLAN!!!

We're still hammering out some details, but I should tell you about it before it becomes so commonplace in my head that I forget to tell you.  Here it goes:

I'm leaving Korea on September 23.

I will be in Thailand, volunteering with Home & Life Orphanage Foundation until the 23rd of October.  But I will leave Thailand on the 27th.

From Thailand, I'll head back to the States (with a 6 hour layover in Incheon, so, Korea friends, help me pass that time!!!), ultimately ending up in Atlanta.  I've got a lot of people I'd like to visit, and I'm thinking about following this path:

View in Google Maps

If you recognize yourself on that map, or if you're not on that map and you should be, let's talk.  I'm going to be needing help with transportation as well, so I'm really, really hoping that you can assist there. 

I'm thinking of trying to fit this all into November and December (ending by Christmas).

Currently, it's looking like I'll be heading back out in February.  My Korean church has asked me to go join their missionaries in India, working at a school that focuses on working with children from the slums.  Currently, we have not set an end date for that.  I will be needing to raise ALL of my own support for that, so, not to worry, you'll definitely be hearing more from me on that.  I may not have definite details until December for that, so I'll probably have a very short time to raise a considerable amount of money.  I'm not stressed about it (yet), though, because I know that if G-d wants me there, He will bring the money in.  I've never had a problem with that before, and I don't think that I will start now.  (Please pray!)

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, and I'm looking forward to reporting on my upcoming adventures.

111 Days until I touch down in the U.S. of A.

The Atomic Announcement

Okay; I promised you all a bit of an announcement, and here it is.

A couple of years ago, my friend Meret told me that she felt like she had two paths in front of her that she could take.  Both of these paths would shape her life in drastic ways, and both of these paths seemed to have the "okay" from G-d.  At the time, I didn't understand how that could be possible, but now I do.  I am being confronted with two paths, and I feel like G-d would be perfectly fine with my choice, no matter which one it was.

On one hand, I could easily see myself staying in Korea and becoming what we call a "lifer," meaning I turn this into my career and settle here.  I have a great school, co-teachers that I adore, a pet rabbit that I haven't killed, a young woman who I'm introducing to G-d, and some great friends.

On the other hand, I hear that Still Small Voice saying, "Or, you could Go to the land that I will show you."  There is peace and terror in this option at the same time.  There is peace in that I know this is G-d whispering in my ear, leading me to something He has designed me to be able to do.  There is terror in that He has not specified where or when as the alternative to a comfortable, secure life.  This is not like Abraham's day and age; I cannot buy a plane ticket to "the land I will show you."

And yet

I have chosen the second path (for now).

As of two weeks ago, I turned in my notice of my intention to resign from my position in Korea at the end of August.  I have yet to sign anything, so there is still some wiggle room on that, but I feel confident that, for now, this is the better of the two choices.

What this doesn't mean:

• This doesn't mean that I'm moving back to America.  I would be incredibly surprised if G-d led me there.
• This doesn't mean that I will for sure be resigning.  As I said, nothing's in stone yet.
• This doesn't mean that I won't come back to Korea after some time.  In fact, I hope to be able to return and teach here again in the future.

What this does mean:

• This does mean that I'm hoping to visit the USA for a month or so.  This is very tentative, so please don't get too excited yet, but it is my hope to do a tour around the States and see all the people I've been missing for the past year and a half.
• This does mean that I am in a period of serious prayer and stepping out on the limb of faith.  I have no idea where I am to "Go," but I'm beginning to have some inklings as to where it's not.

What I need from you:

• I could very much use your prayers.  I need discretion and faith, a quiet heart and an open mind.
• Patience.  I know from being on your end of this conversation that all you probably want to do is ask me questions about what my plans are, because you're honestly interested.  Please don't right now; I don't have the answers you want yet.
• Suggestions.  If you know of a missionary opportunity anywhere in the world, I'd be interested in hearing about it.  Ideally, I'd like a position working with children at risk of being trafficked (in a warm country) and/or a non-tent maker missionary position.  Again, that's my ideal position as far as I know, but I know that G-d could have something else in mind that's completely out in left field, so I'm not tied to that idea.  So, if you know of something, please pass it on.

Thank you so much for being here for me this past year and a half.  I'm excited to see where this journey will take us next.

Middle School is going to be interesting

Today I taught both of my first real middle school lessons.  I'm not counting my introduction lesson, because... well... I'm not.  If these past few days have been any sort of indication, my schedule is going to be constantly in flux, which isn't as upsetting to me as it would have been a couple months ago.  My Monday classes seem to be lulling me into a false sense of security for the upcoming weeks.  They're great kids and mostly great students.  It's nice to have an easy Monday, but it makes for a hard lesson gauge.

People still seem to be mostly satisfied with how I'm teaching.  I had a difference of opinion about how to handle tardiness, but, in the process, learned that at least one of my co-teachers is marking my students on participation, and I think I saw another teacher doing that as well.  Over all, however, my discipline plan of class points leading up to a snack party and review bomb game seems to be working. All I have to do now is figure out when a kid is translating rather than chatting.  I've got to work out a signal for that or something.

Furthermore, I ran into the girl who took over my old school.  She had a bit of a rough day today, just normal settling in stuff, but it's hard, I know.  It made me glad I wasn't at that school anymore, but I'm sure my day is coming.  I bought her some of my favorite Korean snack, 호떡, and pointed out the good pharmacy.  Hopefully stuff will turn around quickly.

Tomorrow I'm planning to finish sorting out what I'll be doing for Chuseok.  I'm not going to write more about it, because I don't want to get my hopes up for anything, but it has potential to turn out great. :)

I'll write more soon.

<3

Day 1

I finished my fourth first day of middle school today.  I hated middle school the first time.  I went to three of them (thus this is my fourth first day), and you'd think I would have found one that I liked, but no.  None.  Zero.  Today, was different.

I love my classroom.  It's beautiful.  It's just eclectic enough for me to like it, but subdued enough to be a good learning environment.  I didn't get any photos today, because I was holding on for dear life.  When I settle into a routine, I'll be sure to take some pictures.

My students seem to be the same level of rowdy as my fifth and sixth graders were (thus far), but today I was much more willing to roll with it.  I feel like that may have been because I was definitely the head of my classroom.  The other teachers barely said anything, but it was beautiful and it flowed.  If discipline needed to happen, it did.  If stuff needed to be translated, it was.  If I needed to joke with someone beforehand, it happened.

And that's another thing.  So far, all of my co-teachers speak flowing, beautiful English.  I even explained my pajama dream to the woman who has the desk next to me, and she laughed!  She laughed hard!  She went so far as to say, "I guess you were very nervous!"  I didn't have to explain it any more than I would to a native speaker.  Furthermore, Sam, who sits across from me, is SO helpful.  He explains everything I have a question about (even when he ran into me on the way home and I was having a bit of trouble ordering dinner).  He doesn't know it, but he also made such a HUGE difference between this school and the last one: he closed today by saying, "You did a great job today."  Yes, my other co-teachers gave me positive feedback, but I had to ask for it.  This was out of the blue, and it was wonderful to hear.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for constructive criticism, but the balance goes a long way.  He also told me what I most wanted to hear: "The most important thing you can do is be friends with [the students]."  He took the pressure off and told me that I'm doing well.  What more could you ask for in an office mate?

My students even seem excited to see me!  I ran into a couple of them on my way home, and they gave the very classic "Oh!" that means "I recognize you and I wasn't expecting to see you!", and quite eagerly spoke English to me.  What strange, parallel universe am I in?

I'm not foolish enough to believe that this isn't tainted by the first day, rose-colored glasses, but I'm very happy with my decision to change schools, so far. :)

I start middle school today.

I dream last night that I showed up to school in my PJs and forgot where my office was. Half of that is true. Ahhhh!!! I'm getting more nervous by the minute. Prayers, please.

Edit:
My dream in detail:
I woke up to go to school, and I realized that I'd left all of my stuff in my other apartment, which happened to be in my old school.  My blanket was there (so I woke up cold), my clothes were there, my school supplies were there... So I knew I needed to go get them.  I decided to swing by my new school first to tell them why I was going to be late.  So I went in my PJs (sweat pants and a sports bra), but I couldn't find my office.  I spent several hours wandering the halls in said PJs, not finding it before I woke.  There's a good first impression.

In a totally unexpected turn of events

I've made a decision, and I'm sticking to it.

Happy 2012!

Okay, I know I've been out of touch with all of you, but that's because MY FAMILY CAME TO VISIT ME!!! (And they don't like it when I advertise that they're not in their home for extended periods of time.)  So I promise to fill you in on the highlights... I may bombard you right now, or I may spread it out.  I'm really that indecisive right now, so I can't give you a more definite answer.

Until then, I'm going to give you this lovely video, highlighting 2011, proof that I survived the whole thing:

It's that time again...

...the time where I'm dealing with governments and trying to get VISAs in order.  At least this time it's for vacation purposes.  Thankfully, I am well trained to have a short-term memory, or else I would never travel.  Good golly, Moses, you'd think they didn't want me to come to their country and blow a whole paycheck!  My word... I thought it was bad getting my VISA to come to South Korea, but it's even more complicated now that I have a 9-5 (well, 8:30-4:30) job in the mix.

Anne: "Yayyyyy!  Vacation's around the corner!  I think I'll go to Thailand and Bangladesh to see two of my Compassion kids!"

Thailand: "Yayyyyy!  Pay me some money when you land; I'll throw a stamp in your passport."

Compassion: "Yayyyy! Pay us some money when we roll up, and we'll throw in a translator and transportation."

Anne: "Yayyyyyy!  Bangladesh?"

Bangladesh: "Hmmm... well... Pay us considerably more than you'll pay at any one place during the rest of your vacation, and we'll consider giving you a VISA for a certain amount of days at our discretion."

Anne: "Really, Bangladesh?  Okay.  I mean, if that's what it takes.  Compassion?"

Compassion: "Yayyyy! Pay us some money when we roll up, and we'll throw in a translator and transportation."

Anne: "Yayyyy! I love consistency!  Here we go over to the travel agent that should be able to do this..."

Travel Agent: "I'll check on that.  Come back tomorrow."

Anne: "Okay." 

(Tomorrow) Travel Agent: "I'm sorry, the embassy forgot to check.  Come back tomorrow."

Anne: "...Okay.  *At least they give me free hot drinks.*"

(Next day) Travel Agent: "I'm sorry.  We cannot arrange your VISA.  You must go to the embassy in Seoul between the hours of 9 and noon, Monday through Friday to drop it off, between the hours of 4 and 5, four days later, Monday through Friday to pick it up."

Anne: *facedesk*

Luckily, it's looking like I can have my friend who works evenings in the Hagwans help me out with this one.  (Here's hoping.)  From what I've seen online, it shouldn't pose a problem, but hey... it's the government... all sorts of things can go wrong.  Anyone seen any information on whether people can turn in paperwork and stuff for others VISA-wise (specifically for Bangladesh)?

Anyone want to pray that we can make this work???

A list for you

 

Before you do anything else, click play... then move on to reading.

I'm going to bust this out elementary school style, because, well... I teach elementary school.  So here we go:

<Note: This list is not in order of importance, but in order of logical flow.>

1. I'm thankful for my G-d.  Ultimately, everything on this list comes back to Him.

2. I'm thankful for my job in so many ways.

• I'm thankful that I HAVE a job.  So many people in the US (and around the world) don't right now, regardless of educational accomplishments.  I do feel like a lot of the job crisis is caused by people being unwilling to "lower" themselves to a blue collar position, but that's not the point of this thankfulness.  Either way, I have a job that pays the vast majority of my bills and pays me salary on top of that, not to mention the team of people who are paid to be at my disposal to help me with any little thing that could go wrong in my life right now.
• I am thankful for the amount of money that I make.  According to American standards, I don't make very much money at all.  Of course, that is excluding the thought that I don't have very many bills at all and that I'm debt-free (thanks to hard work, generous relatives, and the way I was brought up).  But, comparing up the scale is the wrong way to look at things like that.  To put it into perspective, I visited a website that shows you how you fare against the majority of adults in the world.  Turns out, I'm in the 89th percentile for wealth.  To be honest, that doesn't surprise me all that much, but it's such a change in how I've been thinking about my income that the number is like brakes screeching through my head.  G-d has been so good to me... more than good... abundant even.
• I am thankful that G-d has put me in a job outside of the U.S.  There is so much angst and strife there right now; every time I hear about it - OWS, another Obama scandal, everything we let happen to children, even Michael Jackson...still... - I am overwhelmed and disgusted.  I'm so glad G-d has removed me to a situation where I feel it is okay that the lawmakers are ignoring my opinions.  It is so freeing to know that the government of the country you're in is treating you just as it should.  Not a day goes by without me being reminded of how G-d has provided for me in this way.

3. I am thankful for the beautiful children that I get to work with every day.

• Yes, I'm thankful for the ones who chuck things at my head... for many reasons:
• If they didn't chuck things at my head, I wouldn't be thankful for those who didn't.
• If they didn't chuck things at my head, I wouldn't be grateful for the people who didn't give up on me when I was just like them.
• If they didn't chuck things at my head, I wouldn't value it nearly as much when they finally understand and/or care about the material.
• If they didn't chuck things at my head, there wouldn't be people in the U.S. benefiting from my work literally all the way around the world from them.
• If they didn't chuck things at my head, G-d wouldn't be working in my life anywhere near the amount He is now.
•  I'm thankful for my Special Education students (even though it pains me that they don't have an adequate program, catered to their specific needs)... also for many reasons:
•  I spent most of my life worrying that I would end up with a Special Ed child.  I didn't think I had the patience, strength, nor skill set to handle it.  These children have proven me wrong.
• I have gotten to experience entirely different types of relationships by bonding with these children.  I feel like I can usually contrive a decently accurate summary of a person based on one meeting with them  This sounds arrogant, I know, but, those of you who know me know that that is simply one of the gifts G-d has given me.  Unfortunately, I have a habit of letting that replace actual bonds and relationships with people.  I cannot do that with my Special Ed students.  I am constantly staring at them and analyzing their work, watching their every moves, desperate to understand what is happening in their heads.
• They have taught me the kind of person I want to be when I grow up.  I strive every day to be more like them - honest with everyone, true to myself, unyielding in the pursuit of my passions, unashamed of my emotions... We undervalue these people, and it is a detriment to us.
• I'm thankful for my students who walk the line between "he's going to be amazing when he grows up," and "he's going to make a lot of people wonder about his childhood teachers when he grows up," because they keep my prayer life active and my eyes open.
• I'm thankful for my sweetest, most empathetic students, because they are my motivation for going to school each day, and theirs are the faces for which I search from the moment I get off my bus in the morning to the moment my bus passes suitable walking distance from the area apartments.  My happiest Korean memories so far pertain to those children.

4. I am thankful to live in a country that doesn't make a big deal out of the Christian holidays.  Although it makes it easier to be homesick, it opens many doors for me to talk about my faith and the Christian connotations (or lack thereof) behind holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and so forth.  I spent a whole class period yesterday discussing that with some of my sixth graders.

5. I am thankful for my teachers, professors, and mentors who put up with me, in spite of everything, and made efforts to set my faith on fire, to push me to recklessness, to embolden me to dream big and not back down from them.  I would never be here without them.

6. I am thankful for my family, most of whom are all safely tucked in bed at our annual family Thanksgiving reunion.

• I am thankful that we have traditions that make holidays special enough to make me homesick.
• I am thankful that our parents cared enough to make long drives to bring us all together.
• I am thankful that my generation in my family value these bonds as well.
• I am thankful for the wonderful woman that my cousin David will be adding to my family on Saturday, and I am thankful that she has embraced these family bonds and welcomed me into her family just as much as I have tried to welcome her into mine.
• I am thankful for the strong Christian leadership that was brought to my family by my grandfather, and I am thankful for the legacy that he left me to have a basis for my own that I want to leave. 

7. I am thankful for my friends, near and far.

• I am thankful to be able to count my family members as some of my closest friends.
• I am thankful to have a friend that I am comfortable saying anything to, knowing that she will not judge me and that in the end, she will always be there for me, whether it is in support or redirection.
• I am thankful that G-d has put me into a community of people with a similar past to myself and an even more similar present, a community of people who are warm and welcoming, understanding the need for immediate closeness and fellowship upon arrival in an expat situation.
• I am thankful for my friends in Germany, without whom I never would have learned to expect to love countries that didn't originally strike me as a place I would want to visit.
• I am thankful for my friends who have taken it on themselves to mentor me while I'm here, in spite of my personality.
• I am thankful for my friends who make an effort to keep in touch with me, even when I allow the business of my life to keep me away from communication more than I would like.
• I am thankful for my friends in Nicaragua, who keep in touch with me, helping me exercise my language skills, and keeping me connected to the realities of the majority of the world, teaching me to be happier for "unfortunate" circumstances.
• I am thankful for my friends at Yeshuat Yisrael who keep me in their prayers and are taking care of me, even from thousands of miles away.

8. I am thankful that G-d has given me the passion and ability for learning new languages.

9. I am thankful for the miracle of the human memory that makes most bad things seem funny, given enough time.

10. I am thankful to be able to take for granted things like food, water, eyesight, an enclosed living space, clothes, all my appendages,  my family, socks, candy, books, my computer, my phone, a lock on my door, running water, sanitation, freedom of religion, a bed, music, being alive, communication, and (I'll end this list like I started it) G-d.

What are you thankful for this year?

Day One.

One of my 4th grade classes

These children and I share sentiments on today.  It was absolutely cheer-worthy.  I got invited to eat grapes with the teachers, and, on my way there, I remember thinking, "I love this!"  It caught me off guard, because I've never before loved trying to teach a large group of children, but I think I'm doing well.  The kids in the picture are cheering because they had just brutally killed off one of the players in the "Can you help me?" game, but whatever... I got them interested in the lesson, and by the end of it they could all ask for help in three ways:

1. Can you help me [name]?
2. Can you help me with [noun]?
3. Can you help me [verb]?

Therefore, I call the day a success. :)

I'm reteaching third grade their alphabet... if you have any good ideas on how to do that, please let me know!

LOVE!!

I got my packing list.

I received the email I've been most anxious to get: the one that includes info about PACKING! Yayyyy! Basically, it confirmed a lot of things that I assumed, but also pointed out some things I hadn't thought of.

It suggests bringing a lot of hardsided luggage. I've never shopped for hardsided luggage before, so I don't really know what I'm looking for, except that I'd love a 30" or 31" one, and I'd love it to be part of a brightly-colored set. Any suggestions?

I need a lot of luggage, as I need to bring clothes with me for all four seasons, since it has been confirmed that there is slim to no chance of me finding clothes in my size there. Also, sleeveless tops are a no-no. Apparently my new mantra is: Shoulders are slutty. Yeah... good luck with that, 앤. Not to worry... I dropped $100 or so total and did a mad dash through a bunch of different Goodwill stores. As a result, I have a pretty snazzy new wardrobe. I may do one more run, depending on how much money I have.

As I thought, there are a lot of toiletries that are very different, expensive, or just plain unavailable in Korea, like deodorant, tampons, makeup, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, other hair products, and GUM (I knew I should have never let myself get addicted). Therefore, I am somehow going to try to afford taking a whole year's worth with me. (The pessimistic voice in my head has a field day with that one.)

Of course, I need a power converter... I have one, but I'm not sure it's right for all the things I need to plug in... I'll ask someone technologically capable to help me out with that one.

And then... my stress: I'll need to have enough money to survive the first month there until I get my paycheck. This is definitely my stress right now. Luckily, my synagogue, Congregation Yeshuat Yisrael has offered to help me out on some of these things in addition to throwing me a going away party. I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate them right now. They're being so supportive in this endeavor, praying for me, and loving on me. They are amazing.

In summary... if this is stressing you out too, you are welcome to help me out (I'm not trying to beg... no, wait, maybe I am?). My wish list is here.

I love you all so so much.

Just because

Just because it's 1:44 am, and I'm still awake, and I really like how my blog looks right now, I am going to update again.

Because you need to know, that while I'm stressed about Korea, I'm entirely thrilled to be going.

New foods and smells, sights and sounds.

Old friends and sites to see.

Yes, this is going to be an exciting year... get ready, because who knows whether or not I'll blog regularly enough to avoid overwhelming you in each post?

PS... I've linked a wishlist of things that would make my life easier as I move to my "profile," just in case you're feeling philanthropic.


What I'm listening to right now: The air-conditioner and the lights buzzing
What I probably should be doing right now: Sleeping.

South Korea

Well, it's official. I'm moving to South Korea, where I will be known as 앤, which, for those of you who have managed to refrain from learning Korean, as I have, simply translates to "Anne." Go figure. They sound the same too, which is pretty convenient.

To be honest, I'm not really sure how this happened. I kind of fell into it, more or less. I was a last minute addition to the team of people who will be leaving for South Korea this summer to spend a year or more teaching English in the City of Cheonan. It will be a work and ministry trip of sorts, in which I will spend the week days working in the city schools, and the weekends at a church to which I am assigned. I have requested a church that will allow me the opportunity to play my violin with the orchestra or praise band, so keep your fingers crossed! Also stressful right now, is the fact that I'm still waiting for some paperwork to get processed for that I can get my VISA. All that's left is getting the apostille for my FBI background check, and then I can get this headshot put onto a VISA and into my passport... I feel like this short sentence will take an act of G-d to bring to fruition. Please pray for his intervention into our government's red tape.

I'm steadily working on my Korean with the help of Rosetta Stone (which is amazing and I'd recommend to anyone), and it's coming along, although my vocabulary is very limited, and sentences scare me, but at least I can count to 6 (typing them, not so much yet, but when I get there, I'll be sure to share) and identify a fish. I'm just praying for excellent retention, motivation, and comprehension.

Korean culture is already starting to affect my life. I've had to get a new wardrobe, as showing shoulder is apparently unacceptable. That's okay. $100 and three Goodwills later, I've got 3 new blazers, 4 new pairs of jeans, 2 new skirts, and a dozen or so new blouses... maybe more, I can't remember. All I know is that all of my t-shirts have had to be removed from my closet. It's kind of nice, though, because it makes me feel like a grown-up now when I look at it all. (I guess the fact that I've had some of those t-shirts since middle school was not helping with that endeavor.)

So, by the end of July, I'll be well over my head in trying to learn a new life, because I will be in South Korea. I'll definitely be needing all of your prayers, if you don't mind. Feel free to keep up with me here; I'll try to keep it up-to-date as time allows.

Love!


What I'm listening to now: "Last Friday Night," by Katy Perry (Does anyone know what it is with her and glitter?)
What I probably should be doing now: My vocal literature project