Confessions of a Culture-Shocked Pansy

I'm going to take a break from continuity.  I promise I'll finish updating about Thailand when I have my computer back, but right now it's just another stress I don't want to think about.

I've been settled into my new/old home (What's up, Nashville?!) for about a week now.  I've got a great apartment to live in... at least until June, a car that I trust with my new niece (well... cousin's kid, but "1st cousin once removed" is too long), and I'm in the process of finding a job.  I have been Stateside for nearly a MONTH now... crazy, and I am officially experiencing "reverse culture shock."  As such, I'd like to present you with a list of things that I've noticed (good and bad):

1. Americans, in general, are a lot bigger than the rest of the people in the world... especially the people I met in Asia.  Sadly, I don't really mean taller here.  As a whole, we're an overweight people.  It's kind of overwhelming sometimes.  For example, I was sitting at the airport, and I kept feeling like a wall was walking toward me.  Yes, there are fewer people in our airports, but they're more dense.  It's a whole different kind of claustrophobia.
2. Driving is one of those things that you don't forget.  I've been rather nervous about this step, especially considering the accident I was in just before I moved to Korea, but I've now driven up and back down the East Coast, into the sunset, in the rain, at night, in the wind, and in decent conditions, and I've not hit anything.  To be honest, I'm a bit proud of myself.  Though I have noticed that when the niece is in the car, I drive about 20 mph / 30 kph below the speed limit.  I've been told that makes me a "pansy"; if that means my niece is more likely to be alive, I'll wear that title with pride.
3. People talk louder here.  They really do.  I know that's one of those things Americans get tired of hearing, but it's true.  It's a little on the obnoxious side.  I'll probably slide back into it sooner rather than later, though.  And then I'll be irritated with myself whenever I go back abroad.
4. I miss the language barrier. I walked into a coffee shop to have breakfast with a friend, and I could understand everything that everyone was saying.  I've so trained myself to listen for English that when I hear it now I can't tune it out.  Want to talk about things that are overwhelming?  Try that.  I also noticed that I so miss speaking in Korean that I was talking to myself in Korean last night.  I'm hoping that I can make some Korean friends here and solve that problem... Maybe they'll be willing to do a language exchange or something?
5. I like teaching. Sigh.  I mean, we knew that already.  I played "school" instead of "house" growing up.  Nevertheless, I think tutoring rather than teaching is a better direction for me.  I've applied for a couple of tutoring jobs to try and fill the gap that I'm sorely feeling in my life right now.
6. America is really very beautiful.  Like I said, I've been doing a lot of driving since I got back.  I hit Virginia the first week that the leaves were really changing (or so I was told), and it was breath-taking.  Even though I lived there for many years, I never really appreciated how pretty it is.  Seriously, of all the places I've been, no where else has done Fall like Virginia (and yes, I've been up to New England to see the leaves in the Fall.  Vermont doesn't even come close).
7. American food is ridiculously greasy and heavy.  I acknowledge the greasiness of Korean food, especially the "snacks," but American food is greasy in a different way, and I've already gotten sick off of it.  Granted, that's not totally the food's fault; I did allow myself some meat.  However, until I'm more used to it, I'm cooking almost all my own food.  Luckily, there's an Asian market very close to my apartment.  I'm going to go later this week (maybe even today?!) and see if I can get my hands on some kimchi and tteokboki.  (Yes.  I'm craving kimchi.  I don't want to talk about it.)
8. People say things that they think are kind that really just aren't.  I know people mean well.  At least, the people I'm thinking of do.  I'm trying to credit people for their intentions rather than their actions.  It's not always easy, though.  Please bear with me.
9. Americans really like guns.  Like.  Whoa.  Holy cow.  Was it always like this?
10. Americans really like nudity.  See above.
11. Gas prices are a lot cheaper than I was expecting them to be.  Seriously, aside from the way I felt when the man at Immigration welcomed me home, seeing gas below $3.00 (and not having it be a closed gas station) has excited me more than just about anything.
12. Speaking of which, Hearing the words "Welcome home." feels really good.  I can't explain it.  America has never felt like my home until now.  It's a really weird thing for me, and it's causing a lot of confusion in my life.
13. Reverse culture shock takes its toll on your self-esteem.  There's really not much that's more degrading than realizing you're not sure what to do in a social-setting in your home country.
14. Friends who understand are the best thing ever.  Those people who will just sit there with no expectations... who show up at your door with pizza in hand... who lay around and watch endless hours of movies even after you fall asleep... They're amazing.
15. It's easy for me to forget that Korea ever happened.  I'm back in the same town I was before I  went to Korea.  I'm doing a lot of the same things I did before I left.  The only thing that keeps reminding me that Korea happened is that I recognize far fewer people now than I did before.  It's really quite disorienting... to the point of nausea, actually.  It's kind of like that feeling that comes along with a strong medication: Everything's a little foggy... as if it could all be a hallucination.  It's rather unpleasant.
16. There are at least three different versions of Family Feud that air on a daily basis.  I think two of them may be in current syndication???  There is little that's going on that confuses me more than that does.
17. I constantly am afraid that people think I'm showing off when I read things in Korean.  I'm not.  I read things in Korean for two reasons. 1) It's the only way to get the information I'm looking for, and 2) What I'm reading is different and/or more interesting in Korean (like Harry Potter).  I'm not very good at it, and I probably can't translate it word-for-word for you or anything, but I'm getting the gist of it at least.  I'm not a poser.  I just adopted a second language that I really like and am trying to continue studying.
18. Eating out is expensive in America. And then you add TAX and a TIP... Actually...You have to tip in America.  That and non-included taxes.... gets me every time.  I miss being able to eat out for $5 a meal.  Kimbap Nara... come back to me!!!
19. Peppero Day and Veteran's Day are the same day.  How am I just now realizing this?
20. Last but not least (for now)... People decorate for holidays... specifically... Halloween??? I was at the airport just before Halloween, and decorations were EVERYWHERE.  I didn't realize that was a thing.  Or maybe I did and I just forgot.  I don't know... but it seems like a little much to me.
21. Edit: Bonus-American health insurance has nothing on Korean. I literally just started crying as I realized I can't afford a basic plan that would still bankrupt me if I went to the ER. I miss Korea. 

And there you go.  Twenty confessions of a very culture-shocked pansy.

Do you have anything you'd like me to try while in my culture-shocked state?  Let me know in the comments or via any other means of communication you have for me, and I'll see what I can do.  And, of course, I'll write about it.

Carpe Diem and “Nae Soneul Jaba (내 손을 잡아)”

I want to take a moment to jump back to Korea.  I've been sitting on a secret for a few months now, and I can finally tell you:  My music students partnered with new, Philadelphia-based record label, FeedbackLoop to write and release an original song.  It's out this month, obtainable only by subscription.

The sign that adorns my music students' practice space also declares the name of their band.

It’s confusing, I know - What was I, an English teacher, doing with music students? Sometimes, it hits
me all over again, and I chuckle all the harder. When I originally came to Korea from Nashville two years ago, I thought I had left the music industry behind me. But, as the old saying goes, you can take the girl out of the industry, but you can’t take the industry out of the girl.

Every day, I’d sit at my desk waiting for it. I’d dread it. I tried to love it, but it wasn’t happening. I mean, there’s only so many times a girl can take hearing Gangnam Style wafting up through the floorboards. The school cover band met every day in the room immediately below mine, and I was starting to lose my mind. Winter break came and went all too quickly, and I soon found myself back at my desk, tensing for the opening notes of Psy’s hit that I knew would inevitably come… but was greeting instead by the opening strains of Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep.” For a couple of weeks, I listened through the floor, and then I contacted Justin.

The moment that started it all

The kids couldn’t believe what I was telling them when I explained to them that I, their English teacher, had worked in artist management before coming to Korea, and that I, their ENGLISH teacher, wanted to help them write and record a song to be put on a label in America. I’m still not convinced they believe me.

Kim (right) collaborated with another girl in the band, Ji-Hye Lee (left),
who quickly proved her musical worth as well.

Over the course of the semester, we practiced various songwriting techniques, and then we got down to business. One girl in particular, 김주향 (Ju-Hyang Kim), showed a particular interest in the project and came to me with half a song in nearly flawless English. I brought in a fellow Nashvillian-turned-English-teacher Ashley Harden to help guide her in the process (sadly, I have never been much of a lyricist) and sound engineer (also turned English teacher) Adam Thomas for engineer consultation and to direct and shoot the music video, and the rest is history.

Kim taught each player his or her part, down to the last
detail.  No chord bend or slide was there without her
having intended it to be.

Kim quickly proved her musical prowess, writing not just the lyrics but going on to also collaborate with 이지혜 (Ji-Hye Lee) in writing parts for each instrument. They made my job much easier than I thought it was going to be, leaving me with only a couple vocal coaching sessions and the recording process to do. Of course, I also had quite the job to do in refocusing the band, from time-to-time. After all, it is made entirely of 14-to-16-year-olds. The kids have exceeded every expectation I had of them, and I couldn’t be more proud.

Carpe Diem is a band comprised of and led by middle schoolers in South Korea.

Read more about what provoked my long-time friend Justin to take us on and bring you “Nae Soneul Jaba (내 손을 잡아)” - and how you can get your very own copy of it - here.

Korea: Two Years in Four Minutes

And just in case you wanted to watch this on your phone, too:

Foredated: September 11, 2013

I really wanted to post this on September 11 at 8:45 am EST, but life prevented me from being able to do that.  I suppose I should have typed it up in advance, but it wasn't a possibility; I'm sorry.  But these thoughts seemed poignant enough to me to type up and post for you anyway.

On September 11, 2013, 8:44am something monumental happened.  As the clock ticked down, Americans my age - arguably the youngest people on the planet to remember a pre-9/11 life - lived the last minute that they would while still having lived the majority of their lives in relative safety.

I'd like to say that we felt ourselves untouchable until 9/11, but that's a lie.  We weren't, and only the naïve believed otherwise.  Peal Harbor, Oklahoma City, Columbine... We knew better.  But it was something about September 11 that felt so different.  I think it may be because our own assets were used against us.  Whatever it was, America changed drastically afterward; rather than doubling down and coming up stronger, we signed away our rights hand-over-fist and reacted in fear.  I was with everyone else at the time, though... we may want to ask ourselves if it should really be considered an achievement to have a 12-year-old agree with the action our government took.  I remember my mother warning me against it all, and I replied that we'd deal with any problems that arose when we came to them.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've come to them (Read: Syria), but that's another story for another time.

My point is this:
I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a pre-Septemeber-Eleventh World.

I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a world where I can accompany my loved ones to their airplane.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life not having to worry about how complicated my shoes are before going to the airport.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life being able to be fully hydrated on a plane.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a country where Aladdin wouldn't be feared if he lived in it.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a time when I didn't have to worry if the person next to me started playing with their shoes.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life being unable to ask a flight attendant if the small person next to me (or, heck, I myself) could meet the pilot.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life without double, triple, quadruple checking everything I say while traveling.

I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a country that wasn't dominated by manipulation playing off people's fear.


And I'm not sure how to react to that.

New beginnings...

My Love Affair with the Barrier

One thing I've noticed is how much my friends and I talk about the frustrations of living with a daily language barrier in our lives, and, even if we're not talking about it, we're basically always thinking about it.  You never realize what a big deal it is until you try to live in another country.  For example, try ordering food off a menu that looks like this:

You may be fairly sure you know what you're getting, but if you have any dietary restrictions, it gets pretty stressful.  Or maybe you want to find things after a store rearranges its shelves  Heaven help you if you want someone's opinion about an item or if you want to convince a doctor you'd prefer a natural remedy to medicine.  The language barrier changes our lives in drastic ways here, and we frequently find ourselves discontent with those changes.

As my two-year anniversary with Korea has been drawing closer and my time here wrapping down, I've found myself growing increasingly nostalgic and analytical (those may seem like strange bedfellows to you, but I feel confident that anyone with a background in philosophy or psychology will make the connection).  I've been thinking over all my time here, and I've come to a conclusion: For better or for worse, I'm in love with the language barrier.  Certainly, we have our bad moments, our arguments, but, overall, I think it's a pretty good relationship, full of give and take.  I already drew a picture of how frustrating the barrier can be, but let me show you some of its more wonderful qualities.

• I think one of my most (selfishly) favorite parts of the barrier is it's ability to hide me when I don't want to talk to people.  Thanks to the culture of my city and its particular barrier, I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to.  There are, of course, Korean-speakers here, and there are a good amount of English-speakers, but what you don't know is that there is a decent-sized Russian-speaking population here as well.  As a result, I can sit around and ignore all language that comes past me, and people will just assume I don't speak whatever language they've got going.  It's an introvert's heaven (well... in that aspect, at least).

• I am now much better at charades.

• Not being able to find things / communicate what I'm trying to find has helped me learn to prioritize: Do I really need this?  Would it be that big of a deal if I can't find it?  I've learned to let go of things that aren't so important and be persistent about that which is.

• But the absolute best part of the language barrier is this: I have built friendships that are not based on knowing the trivia of each other's lives.  We are friends because we care about each other.  We see each other on a regular basis and we've learned to read each others' body language.  We cobble together our own language for communication, but that's not the core of the relationship.  Smiles, waves, and laughter; frowns, sighs, and even tears - This is the foundation of these relationships.  These people have actively and repeatedly looked out for my best interests.  I may not be able to tell you their favorite food or type of movie, but I can tell you when they're having a good day, and that, I think, is much more important. 

If you never read anything else I write, read this.

I may have had the biggest revelation of my life today - just now, in fact - and I'm verbalizing it here for the first time, because I wish I had come to realize this sooner.  So I want to share it with everyone as soon as I possibly can in the hopes that it will click with them and help them not to dismiss things as antiquated rules simply because we don't understand them.

In fact, everything in the Bible just took on new, deeper meaning in light of this.  As soon as I finish here, I'm going back to reread as much of it as I can before I fall asleep.  The more I think about it all, the more excited I get.

It really all makes perfect, simple sense.

Once you can fully (well, as close to fully as possible) wrap your mind around this one fact:

G-d is not a linear being.

Don't get intimidated by the science/math speak and click away.  This is important to understand.

To reach a bigger audience, I want to also reference Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time.  In the book, the characters utilize something called a Tesseract.  L'Engle's explanation of this (below) has helped me to understand G-d a bit more.

We, like all things on this planet, exist in a linear fashion, with a definite beginning and a definite end (at least while we're on Earth).  We currently exist in the same state as the insect was originally.  We have never known anything outside of that state and cannot fathom anything outside of that state, much like a fetus cannot fathom anything so otherworldly as breathing air.  The latter state, the simplest explanation of a Tesseract, is so far outside of a line, that linear beings cannot really comprehend it.

Now, I'm not so audacious as to claim that G-d exists in a state of Tesseract.  Personally, I believe He exists in a plane beyond that somewhere.  My point is that, G-d exists in a state that encompasses our own so completely that we cannot comprehend it; it could never fit into our understanding.  This also means that He encompasses our entire state of being at all times.

Let me break down what this means a little bit.

G-d is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.  Yes.  Of course.  Because all of those times exist simultaneously for Him.  It's not so much that He's unchanging as He's omnipresent.  Those are all the same thing.  A=A.  It's like thinking, "Wow, this bite of doughnut that I'm chewing still happens to taste good!" - It's ridiculous to think anything else.  All of those are subpar explanations, but I hope you were expecting that, because, as I said, we're dealing with something outside of our scope of experience.

Everything the Bible says about sex and marriage that we don't really like... Yeah, G-d knew what He was talking about.  Of course.  Of course it's cheating on your future spouse to sleep with anyone else (Hebrews 13:4, among many others).  In fact, the much debated (even taboo) verse in the Bible that says not to divorce and not to remarry if you do (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) makes sense in light of this.  G-d is in all of our moments at the same time, so, to Him, we are too.  To us it feels like it's all unfolding slowly: things end; other things start.  But not to G-d.  To Him, I was just as married to my (hopefully existent) husband the day I was born as I will be on our 50th wedding anniversary.  Anything I do "before" or "after" I meet him is just the same to G-d.

Sin really does irrevocably separate us from G-d.  And nothing, NOTHING we ever do can change that.  It's not that He wants that.  It's devastating for Him.  But that's simply the plain, honest truth.  Think about the magnitude of this thing: If all moments are actually one moment, then we are constantly committing each and every sin in our lives.  There is nothing we can do.  Nothing.

The magnitude of what Christ did on the cross is heart-stopping.  Every moment for all of eternity in every direction and every plane of existence, Christ is being tortured to death to atone for those sins that also exist on that spectrum.  Every sin we could possible commit is erased the moment we do it, because Christ takes it on in that moment.  We are constantly clean.  We are constantly made new.

All praise to G-d, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. (Eph. 1:3 NLT)

Independence Day

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. . .

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

I sincerely hope you read those words.  I realized today that I'd never read the Declaration of Independence in its entirety.  (This isn't the entirety, either, by there way.)  It's such a passionate document.  It's empowering to read.  I'm incredibly proud of the history that comes with this document, and yet I am troubled.

The same blood that flowed through the veins of several great men and women in our nation's history flows through my own veins.  I feel it my duty, therefore, to follow in their footsteps, paying them honor by enhancing the legacy they left for me.  They fought for the ideals that have come to define what it means to be a part of American culture.  I am incredibly grateful to them, because I strongly agree that they were right: All of us were born equal.  ALL of us.

George Orwell astutely pointed out in his well known Animal Farm, that many of us operate under the delusion that "Some are more equal than others."  I would like to point out that this is inherently untrue.  Our Declaration of Independence does not state that one race is more equal than another, that one language is more equal than another, even that one country is more equal than another.  It simply says that all men (and I firmly believe that they are referring to humanity in this instance) are created equal.

Though today is America's Independence Day, I think it is a day for all to celebrate  It is a day that the world triumphed, gaining leaders to whom we could all aspire to emulate.  As I told my students, these men believed so adamantly in what was written here that they were willing to risk their own and even their families' lives in order to secure it as truth.  Even those who do not admire what these people were trying to do (though why anyone wouldn't admire an attempt at establishing a certain grounds for the respect and dignity of all humanity I do not know) must admire the ardent passion that goes with making a commitment of that magnitude.  My last class today was moved to radiant pride as I described this situation to them, though none of them has even seen America.

The Second Day of July 1776, will be the most memorable Epocha, in the History of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more. You will think me transported with Enthusiasm but I am not. I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure, that it will cost Us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States. Yet through all the Gloom I can see the Rays of ravishing Light and Glory. I can see that the End is more than worth all the Means. And that Posterity will tryumph in that Days Transaction, even altho We should rue it, which I trust in God We shall not. (The Book of Abigail and John: Selected Letters of the Adams Family, 1762-1784,Harvard University Press, 1975, 142).

This is the legacy we have been given.  It is our job to carry it on, uniting all humanity under that banner, ignoring any other differences.  We are brothers and sisters.  In this day and age, we are more connected than ever before.  We should be uniting, moving together as one, loving each other as a global family.

"Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. - President Thomas Whitmore, Independence Day

I write with a certain urgency to you today.  We do not know what is ahead of our world, but across the globe people are feeling something coming.  Egypt is in turmoil, the Koreas are on edge, Bulgaria is at a stand-still (literarlly), The United States are in an uproar: The world is in a state of growing global agitation.   I do not know what is coming, but I feel it in the core of my person: Globally united we can stand, but divided we will fall.  We are only one race; we are humanity.  We are so much more connected than we know.

Everything pales

I've been happy this week.  I've been incredibly happy this week - more happy than I remember being for this long in my life, including the trip to Disney World when I was on Codeine the whole time (although, as I'm allergic to the stuff and it makes it nearly impossible for me to create long-term memories, I could just not be able to remember how happy I was then).  I've got a couple guesses as to what the root cause of this could be, but, to be honest, they're just that: guesses.  They're not even theories - educated guesses - they're just guesses, so I don't even feel like they're worth sharing.  The point is that I'm really happy.

This morning, as I was happily walking to school, grinning from ear to ear, I was thinking to myself about how I really don't know anything at all, and that was pretty cool.  Think about it.  Maybe I get upset because thus and such isn't going to happen... well, I mean... I don't know that.  I can't know that.  Even if I got a time machine and went to the future, I wouldn't know what was going to happen, because, hey - I can always do something different from whatever I did to make that future happen.

But then I realized that I do know something. I love G-d, and that's pretty cool. But what blew me away was that I also know that G-d loves me.  When I realized that, everything around me literally paled; it all faded into the background.  Really, the only thing that truly matters is that G-d loves me and I love Him.

It sounds cliche until you really get it, and then it feels like your mind just exploded.

The G-word

And the L-word.  And B-word.  And the T-word.

I think it's odd the LGBT culture incites such explosions within the Church, that homosexuality and everything else we associate with it is one of the leading hot topics in Christianity.  To be honest, I'm actually blown away by the number of things that we could substitute for that cleanly that would not affect the point of what I'm about to say.

The topic of homosexuality reportedly only crossed Jesus' lips a debatable one or two times.  Now, I know this is the start of an argument with which you're probably familiar, but I'm not going down that road.  What I mean to say is this:

I'm not saying Jesus does or doesn't approve of LGBT people.  I'm saying that Jesus had other things He wanted us to deal with before we ever began that debate.

When you think about how many times Jesus mentions orphans or children, how many times He mentions feeding the hungry, how many times He mentions caring for widows and the elderly, how many times He mentions lust, how many times He mentions selflessness... Suddenly, we realize that there is an entirely different picture in play.

Have you ever noticed how our favorite pass times involve pointing out what we deem to be flaws in others?  It's a lot easier than turning inward and working on ourselves.  In fact, in my own way, I'm doing it right now.  We love to say our piece.  We hate it when that piece is aimed at us.  But that doesn't mean it's right.

1 Corinthians 12:12-26 : Unity and Diversity in the Body

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now, imagine this:
Picture a Church where each member of the body delved into the scriptures, focusing solely on the message G-d had for him or her that day, and, rather than going and talking about the amazing "word G-d had given" that day, put it into practice and let the word speak for itself.  Can you imagine how this Church would change the world?  Can you imagine how the Church would unite?

I think we're missing a critical part of G-d by being so focused on slashing fallacies out of our brothers and sisters.  Very few are called to be surgeons, and those who are never approach a person with a sword to do their work.  The rest of us are called to wait anxiously in the waiting room, praying and pacing, hoping and supporting each other in body, the patient in spirit.  Before we open our mouths, perhaps we should ask ourselves: What role have I been called to play?  What role am I trying to play with my words?

I see no record of Christ calling us to focus more on what other people are doing wrong than what we are doing wrong.  We're called to be constantly improving ourselves, constantly growing closer to Him, constantly focusing on Him.  If we start nit picking at someone else's life, we divert our attention; we're no longer gazing solely at G-d, we're staring intensely at another person.  How much do we sabotage ourselves in the name of "helping" others?

I would be thrilled if we could set aside this debate in favor of something more productive.  Let's focus on doing the things that Christ made painstakingly clear.  Let's make sure that we ourselves are aligned with Him, before we start trying to mold others into our own images.  Yes, we are called to make disciples, but we are called to make HIS disciples, not our own.  This means that there are going to be times when the people we helped to bring to Christ are going to act in ways that would be different than our inclinations.  We can point this out to them, lovingly, but, in the end, the most we can do for them is point them back to G-d and pray.  The key here is that it all hinges on relationships.  A stranger cannot permeate your  beliefs and opinions, cannot change your actions.  Only a personal, loving relationship can introduce someone to a personal, loving relationship with G-d, which will then induce change.  So, if you truly wanted someone to change and weren't just in it for the sport of bullying people, wouldn't you make a point of seeking out the people with whom you disagreed and attempting to build a relationship with them?  I know Christ did...

Just some thoughts that have been bothering me lately.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:3-5

Dear Tiananmen Square

Dear Tiananmen Square:
We were conceived together, you and I
We shadow each other
We are kindred

You were born out of death, a country torn and divided
While I was still a burgeoning hope, not yet ready for the world
But we were announced to the world at the same time
An accusatory message there, a celebrated one here -
They both were read with tears, though not of the same strain.


Dear Tianamen Square:
We were dedicated to our causes at the same time.
With the diligence of youth we were presented to the world
They lifted their voices, proudly proclaiming,
"Here and now we solemnly promise to see this through
"No matter the cost."

You and I, we didn't know what that meant then.
We didn't know how we would grow.
We only knew that we were in the hands of those who cared so much.


Dear Tianamen Square:
We're really of the same character - stubborn and reckless,
Inciting anger among those who don't understand
Ready to be the face of the fight.
It's only later that we wonder if we meant to do it at all.
If I had known, would I have acted differently?
If you had known, would you have?

Would I have spoken out?  Would I have quieted myself?
Would you have shaken, toppling buildings and cracking roads apart?
Would we have been happy with our courses had we known their outcomes?
I can't be sure.  Can you?


Dear Tianamen Square:
We both know what it is to be under a strict reign.
We both know what it is to rebel against it.
We both know what it is to face consequences we didn't expect.

We are united by our opposites.
My blood was drawn as you drank in that which fell on you.
My skin was pricked as shells rebounded off of you.
I screamed out for my mother, as you heard the screams echoing around you, in you.
And then we breathed the silence:
Me in my temporary comfort and you eternalized as that without it.

Dear Tianamen Square:
We are both unended, unsure, a story left unfinished.
The question lingers:
What happened to him - the man who was so bold?
Did you encourage him in your own stalwart way?
Would you do the same for me, as I endeavor to fill his shoes?

Will you watch over me or are you tired?
Are you still washing away the blood that is deep within you now?
Have you seen the ends of actions?
Have you given into the silence?
Or are you still bold, only waiting?




Tianamen Square timeline and news reports

"Let there be no division among you..."

Today I was overwhelmed by a desire for unity within the Church.  I feel it's Christ's desire more than my own.  I think it pains Him to hear us discount various denominations, to ignore them in our counts of "churches" from our missionary work, to follow the teachings of one train of thought unquestioningly, to fear each other for are differing beliefs.

Personally, I wish we could disband them entirely.

Today's post won't be long; I think that expresses my thoughts well enough on the topic.

17 Thank-Yous to my Amazing Mom

I saw a version of this on Carlos Whittaker's blog, Ragamuffin Soul.  I think it's the perfect answer to my Mother's Day post.  (It's still Mother's Day in its country of origin, so leave me alone.)

1. I was so excited to go to Kindergarten, so excited to formally learn.  I ran into that classroom, and I don't think I even looked back to see if you'd left; if I did, it was to make sure you had.  You never let me see that bother you (I'm still not sure that it did).  Thank you for fostering a love of learning in me.

2. In first grade, I was tired of being the only kid who read with expression.  All the other kids stuttered their monotone ways through our readers; I thought that must have been the cool way to read, so I started doing it, too.  I brought the style home, and you immediately scheduled a meeting with my teacher to discuss my declining reading level.  She subscribed to an older version of teaching that encouraged all students to learn at the same level and would not budge to give me more challenging work.  You took me to the public library and assigned me weekly chapter books to go through.  Thank you for protecting my skills.

3. In second grade, I began to lose my first "best" friend.  We had moved across town, and I was still clinging to the friendship, even though it was pretty much gone already.  Thank you for patiently arranging play-dates and making the drives to and from her house.

4. In third grade, I got accepted into an alternative school and that friend did not.  I was devastated and didn't want to go without her.  You made me go anyway.  Thank you.

5. In fourth grade, you got up almost every school morning to drive me to said alternative school instead of making me take the hour-and-a-half bus ride.  We used that time to attempt to cram my spelling words into my head.  None of them stuck, but the methodology you used to teach them to me did.  Thanks for teaching me how to study.

6. In fifth grade, I began to experiment with everything, including how to do laundry.  I attempted to wash my costume for the school play on my own.  It was white, and I wanted it to look amazing, because I felt fat, dumpy, and ugly.  I wanted people to see me and think I was pretty.  So I added bluing to the wash, but I didn't realize it needed to be diluted.  You stayed up making me a new costume for the play.  Or maybe you bought it... but I think you made it.  I know you made the jacket, but either way, it was your time and money that you lovingly gave to prevent the ridicule and reprimand for my actions.  I'm grateful.

7. In sixth grade, I was asked to join with the high school orchestra for their Spring trip to New York City.  You said I could go, but only if you went, too.  I was horrified that you wanted to chaperon, but no amount of begging or attitude would change your mind.  After having been on those trips as a high-schooler on those trips, all I have to say is that you made the right choice.  Thanks for sticking to your guns.

8.  In seventh grade, I went out of my way to hurt you.  We'd moved again, and I didn't want to.  You knew I was planning to run away.  You called my likely refuges and warned them.  You told them not to send me back if I left; you knew I'd do it again and in a more dangerous way.  You told me later that you had been planning to sign over custody if I left.  For the sake of my safety, you were willing to give up your rights to me.  I'm astounded.

9.  In eighth grade, I had the opportunity to tour the country with a singing group.  You didn't feel comfortable with me being away for so long with a group you didn't know well, but still you drove me the day and a half out to training.  When my phone calls started sounding fishy, you showed up at every one of our shows.  You let me finish the tour, but you still looked out for me.  I felt safer because I knew you'd be there.

10.  In ninth grade, we were dealing with my on-going night-terrors.  They were so intense.  They still scare me to this day, and I know they scared you then.  Thank you for not making me feel like a freak for having them.

11. In tenth grade, you made better costumes for ALL the madrigals.  You stayed up later than I did a lot of the time.  That couldn't have been easy for you, but I really appreciate it.  It helped me stop being so much of a social outcast, which was (is) important to me.

12. In eleventh grade, you were working again.  I knew you wanted to be working, but I didn't realize all your reasons.  There's so much you did for me with the money you made from that job that I'm only realizing now.  You give and give and give.

13. In twelfth grade, you gave me my space.  I did a lot of things that I needed; those things probably hurt you, but you could also see why I needed to do them.  You stood up for me, and fought the big battles WITH me (not for me).  Words cannot express how truly grateful I am and always will be.

14.  In college, you helped me move in, you giggled with me about boys, you talked to me when I called, and let me go without talking when I didn't.  You sent me care packages (more than most kids got).  You made the 14-hour drive whenever I had an important concert.  You fought the urge to fly down every time I ended up in the ER and let me find my own two feet.  You cheered for me as I flew around the world, and you didn't panic when I told you I'd be leaving again in a matter of  weeks.  You fished me out of the waters when I got in too deep, but never coddled me.  AND helped me pay for toiletries.  You win.

15. You were nothing but nice to my boyfriends, even when you told them to get lost.  I really appreciate that.

16. I'm sure you cried when I told you I'd be moving to start my adult life out of the country, but you never let me see it.  I needed that more than you can know.  You came to visit me, I came to visit you, and we began to iron out our relationship as adults.  It's not an easy process, but I'm sure we'll get it.  Thank you for respecting me.

17. Recently, we've really begun to talk about faith - REAL faith.  Sure, we talked about "faith" as a kid, but not like this.  I appreciate that I can talk to you about things that are deep, and I'm floored by the extent of the faith you have.  When we lost Pop-pop, I felt like I lost my rock, my anchor - the thing that would helm me back in if I floated too far away.  I'm beginning to realize that I only lost one of a number of anchors, the exact number of which I can never be fully sure.  Thank you for standing firm and for opening up to me.

The Demon-Possessed Man: Part 9 - Stay

<<Part 8

The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return home and tell how much G-d has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.  -Luke 8:38-39

There are so many things on which I could make little comments in these verses that it's tempting to me to expand this post into two.  I may still do that, as it's incredibly hard for me to leave this series with only 9 installments, but I also have some other things I want to share with you, and it's hard for me to do that with this series weighing on my mind, saying "But you need to finish meeeeee!"  I hope that it's been as enlightening for you as it has been for me as I've studied this passage.

So, here we go... as far as I know, the last part:

I'm going to start with a tidbit, something worth noting.  Please re-read the first ten-words.  Suddenly, our Demon-Possessed Man has a new handle.  In spite of living a significant portion of his life one way, this one incident completely redefined him, and history makes a point of noting that.  So the next time you feel like you're too stuck in your patterns or that no one will allow you to change (or you're doing that to someone else), remember that this man, who was, I'm sure, far more extreme than you, had his moniker changed for all of time in a mere 14 verses.  (Moral of the story: Don't get stuck in your opinions of anyone, including yourself.)

Now, on to the crux of the matter, the confusing way I left you last time.   (Sorry about that.)  

Jesus leaves us when we ask.

But He doesn't.

But He does.

At this point, we've got two very legitimate, very weighty verses competing.  In the red corner:  Luke 8:37 (Then all the people of the region of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them, because they were overcome with fear. So he got into the boat and left.)  In the blue corner, the double-headed, most quoted option out there: Deuteronomy 31:6 / Hebrews 13:5 (Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.)  And, just for you, I'm going to leave out any contextual, devil's-advocate-type argument I could make here.  You're welcome.

These two verses, I'm sure, cause a lot of stress for those who look at them lifted from their passages.  Because, in this form, they really do seem to be contradicting each other.  But I'm here to tell you today that they're not.  They are resolved in the verse I highlighted today.

Again, today, we see begging.  But this time, Christ does not give into it.  In fact, we see more of the response I was expecting Him to give the demons.  He tells the Man from whom the Demons Had Gone Out to leave.  To go away.  But He also gives the Man FWTDHGO an important instruction more: "Tell how much G-d has done for you."  Essentially, Jesus tells the man to go back to the city and share his testimony.  Christ has been asked to leave, and He complies, but He leaves His messenger, a bit of Himself with the people nonetheless.  We may ask Christ to leave, but he will always leave us with some of Himself, aching for us to accept Him.

But let's turn to the MFWTDHGO for a moment.  This guy knew what he wanted.  He had been drastically changed by Christ's intervening love.  He wanted desperately to drop everything and follow Him right then and there, leaving it all behind and trekking across the country after Christ.  He begged Christ to let Him, and Christ said, "No."  Speaking as one who has heard that "No," that moment is devastating.  It's confusing, it's painful, it's crushing.  It feels like betrayal.  Yet the MFWTDHGO picks himself up and follows orders.  I can't help but think that this was a little easier for him, since he had seen the people reject Christ and knew that He needed a voice there still.  But we often aren't given the big picture while we're still given the command that goes against the deepest desire of our hearts.  That's hard.

We have these life-changing, mountain-top experiences, and all we want to do is cling to them.  We are given new insight into the Word, and all we want to do is study more.  We find peace, and all we want to do is dive into its depths.  But this... this isn't the way G-d works.  That is an entirely self-driven religion, and Christ-following has to do with everything but the self.

We cannot see the big picture, know what G-d knows, or understand G-d's reasoning (usually).  We have to admit this, because this is the first and most crucial step of trust.  If we can admit this and cling to His goodness, then and only then can we trust Him and say as Christ says a mere 14 chapters later, "Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." (Luke 22:42 KJV)   Ultimately, this should be the cry of any Christ-follower.  This is the fullest sacrifice of praise, to cry out the the pain and despair of broken personal dreams and scream NOT MY WILL, BUT THINE!  Until we can do this, we are nothing but self-seekers.  Once we cross the line, we are called, we are sent, and we are crucified with Christ.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  -Mathew 16:24-25

1. Tombs
2. Recognition
3. Familiarity
4. Impure
5. Solitary Places
6. Respect
7. Fear
8. Leave
9. Stay

Thank you for reading.  Please feel free to leave any questions or comments below.

The Demon-Possessed Man: Part 8 - Leave

<<Part 7                                                                                                                                    Part 9>>

So he got into the boat and left. - Luke 8:37b

We've all been taught that Jesus stands knocking on the door to your heart, waiting for you to let Him in.  We've grown up staring at the picture in rooms where elderly people gather (I don't know why only older people hang this picture up, but it must be a rule somewhere).  I could write about how I'm not sure that's quite how it works, but that's another post for another day.  My point today is that we were given freewill.  We are free to follow after Christ, and we are free to send Him packing.  The beauty of this, though, is that we now have the ability to legitimately love.  Love is a choice that one must make, so if we did not have the choice to not love, we would also not have the choice to love.  It's a little bit of a mind twister, but I promise it makes sense if you let it sit for a moment.

None of this is to say that Christ ever stops loving us.  I don't believe that He does.  But it's just like any other relationship.  A man may love a woman, but that doesn't mean the woman will return his love.  She may actually hate him.  No matter how many things he does for her, no matter how many times he professes his love, she only pushes him further away and tells him to leave her alone.  Eventually, someone will take that poor man aside and say to him, "If you truly love her, let her go."  Jesus loves us more than any man can love any woman, and He chooses to leave when we ask Him to, because He wants us to experience the fulfillment of loving Him freely and wholly.  

Some of you have been reading my blog since it was a Xanga (whoa.) or it was a LiveJournal (Can you believe those websites still exist?) or it was in the notes section of Facebook.  (The only one of those that still exists is on my Facebook.  I was going to try and link you to the old ones, but they've been "purged".)  If you're one of those people, it may surprise you to hear me take this view, since I vehemently espoused in the past the Christ will never leave us.  I still believe this.  I truly do.  Let me take an excerpt from the Facebook rendition of the blog to help me explain.

We talk about how we "walk away from G-d" or how we need to "return to G-d."  But I don't like it.  G-d promises that he will never leave us.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of [your enemies], for the L-RD your G-d goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  -Deuteronomy 31:6

"G-d has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"  Hebrews 13:5

This is not just semantics.  The Bible is not saying, "G-d will not leave you, but you can leave G-d if you want."  The Bible is saying "G-d will not ever leave you."  So what of our times of sin?  What of the times that we fall short of the glory of G-d?  I answer this question with the parable of the ant.

I have always been fascinated by ants.  They're really cool.  They don't seem as dirty as other bugs.  They're so strong but so fragile.  They are incredibly organized and seem to appear out of no where.  They climb up the steepest angles and make it seem like no problem.  They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors... some breeds also have incredible super powers.  I could sit and look at them all day - perhaps that's why I've been attacked by them so many times.  Regardless of the reason why, however, I can now add to the list one more fact about ants:  I am also allergic to them.  Yes, one bite from any kind of ant - red, black, brown, big, little, it does not matter - and my body is red, puffy, and annoyingly itchy.

Think of G-d in terms of the person watching the ants, and us, in turn, as the ants themselves.  We run around and fascinate Him.  He could sit and watch us all day.  In fact, He does.  Sometimes we run away from Him as fast and as far as we possibly can.  When we realize what we've done, we say, "I've come so far!  Look at me, I'm a thousand ants away from G-d!  How could He possibly be with me now?  How could I possibly get back to him now?"  But think about this.  If you stay still, and an ant runs away from you a thousand times its length, you can still reach it.  The same is true with G-d.  No matter how far from G-d we run, we are always within his reach.  This is the joy of having a G-d who is so much bigger than us.  He truly never does leave us, even if we attempt to leave Him.

 

But that's not the end of the parable.  See, I didn't talk about my allergy for no reason.  Just as I am fascinated by the ants, G-d is fascinated by us.  Just as the ants get scared and bite me (and in turn, attempt to kill me), so do we turn and bite G-d, and we succeeded in killing Him.  Every sin is another bite, another strike to the nail.
I went to visit Kyle [Funke's grave] while I was in Raleigh recently.  There were ant hills all around his grave, and I saw them.  While I was talking to him, I allowed some of the ants to climb on my arm.  I like them a lot, so I didn't think much of them.  It wasn't until after they got scared and started biting me that I realized the sound of my voice, though I was talking softly and tenderly in the moment, was probably too much for them and their tiny ant senses.  So I returned them to the grass.  I watched my arm start to swell, and thought, "It wasn't their fault, really - they didn't realize what they were doing."  So I didn't hold it against them the next time I ran into some ants.  I still sat there and watched them go about their lives.  I know the same is true for G-d, because He said so.  As He watched his arms and legs swell around the nails that had been driven through them, He called out:

 "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do."  -Luke 23:34

 Don't think that the situation is any different for you.  There is no grudge that is held.  The fascination has not been tapered.  G-d absolutely adores you, and chooses to be with you, knowing that you may very well bite Him.  He has already forgiven you, so forgive yourself and move on.

He leaves, but He doesn't leave.  He is G-d, after all.  We are always within His reach.  I know it sounds like I'm contradicting myself, but I'm not.  I'm going to show you how this all fits together, but you're going to have to give me just one more blog post to do it, because this is getting entirely too long.  I will wrap it up in the next one and tie it with a nice, pretty bow.

<<Part 7                                                                                                                                 Part 9>>

The Demon Possessed Man: Part 7 - Fear

<<Part 6                                                                                                                                 Part 8>>

When those tending the pigs saw what had happened, they ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened. When they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone out, sitting at Jesus’ feet, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people how the demon-possessed man had been cured. Then all the people of the region of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them, because they were overcome with fear. So he got into the boat and left. -Luke 8:34-37

Boo Radley.  If you don't know who that is, I'd highly
recommend turning off your computer and finding
your middle school English teacher.  I'm positive
he or she can help you out.  I'm also positive that he
or she would like to retroactively fail you on a
good portion of your homework assignments.

Picture the craziest, scariest Boo Radley of your town.  Now, make him strong enough to break chains and overthrow armed guards.  Also, take away his abilities to speak and hear.  Next, have him regularly tear his clothes to shreds.  Finally, make him possessed by a legion of demons that no one can banish.  Got that picture?  

Now, let's say that one day your friends dare you to tiptoe up Boo Radley's sidewalk and knock on his door.  You know you shouldn't do it, but it's a dare, so you have to.  You creep up to the porch, you raise your hand to knock, but just as you're about to finish your task, you hear voices coming from the other side of the door.  This is confusing to you, since Boo Radley clearly can't carry on a conversation.  You peek in the window just in time to see Billy Graham cast all those demons out of him.  Clearly, your first choice is to run screaming through the town, announcing what had just happened.  By the time you get back, Boo Radley is fully clothed and making lemonade to share with the townsfolk now gathered on his porch.  He's as sweet and docile as a newborn lamb.

What would you do?

Well, I know what I wouldn't do.  I wouldn't ask Billy Graham to leave.  There are a whole lot of other things I think I would ask him (What the heck just happened?  Who are you?  How did you do that?   Would you mind taking a look at my rabbit?), but certainly not, "Hey... umm... Could you get out of here, please?"

No one wanted you anyway!

I mean, I get it.  They were scared.  I would be scared, too, but I don't think I would jump straight to kicking Him out.  But that's what the people did to Jesus.  They asked Him to leave.  Maybe they were nervous about what He might do next.  Perhaps they were worried He may ask them to be His next test subjects.  I naturally try to find some reasonable explanation for them so I can say to myself, "Okay.  That's not so bad.  That's pretty understandable, actually."  But here's the thing.  The Bible never explains why they were scared, which means that it doesn't really matter.  What mattered was that they asked Him to leave.

We justify things in this way all the time.  We say, "Oh, well, her dad hit her when she was a kid, so I understand why she's slowly becoming an alcoholic."  "His parents didn't connect with him emotionally as he was growing up, so it makes sense that he's brash and distant now."  "But she was molested that one night; I think it's natural to go through a promiscuous period when you're trying to deal with that."  But I want you to hear me and hear me well right now:  The Bible doesn't say, "They were scared because they didn't understand what had just happened, so, in the moment, they asked Jesus to leave."  The Bible says that they were scared and they asked him to leave.

Their reasoning for their actions didn't matter.

So what did Jesus do?  Did He follow that idea that I somehow got in my head?  Did he stick around and beg them to let Him stay?  Did He draw out specific models of how having Him in their lives would do wonderful things for them?  Did He give them lots of money to make them feel more secure about having Him there?  Did He make their broccoli taste better and their chocolate non-fattening?  Absolutely not.  He left.

That's the unfortunate part of freewill, friends.  When we tell Him to get lost, He does.  Now, if you're anything like me, you're probably shaking your head right now, and there's a knot in your stomach, but please hear me out.  I promise I'm going to make it all make sense, but, for the sake of your time and the length of this post, I'm going to continue it tomorrow.  Honest.  Tomorrow.  It's already entirely written and on a timer to go up tomorrow at noon my time.  So look for it.

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The Demon Possessed Man: Part 6 - Respect

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Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“Legion,” he replied, because many demons had gone into him. And they begged Jesus repeatedly not to order them to go into the Abyss. A large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside. The demons begged Jesus to let them go into the pigs, and he gave them permission. When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned.

-Luke 8:30-33

This is a section of the Bible that is incredibly near and dear to my heart.  I find it so profound that it's hard for me to add my own thoughts to it.  It's one of those things that I think loses its luster if I try to break it down.  Nevertheless, I recognize that what I see as obvious in these verses may not be as obvious to other people, so I will do my best to explain what I read in it as eloquently as possible.

It all starts with four simple words: "What is your name?"  That's where personhood begins in our minds.  It's easy for us to ignore others, to devalue them... until we know their names.  Then everything is amplified.  (This isn't as strong if we don't already have a face to attach to the name, but I think the name is what gives it definition.)  Don't believe me?  Say these sentences out loud:

That guy makes me sick.
Joseph Kony makes me sick.

That man gives me hope.
Pope Francis gives me hope.

Of course, this exercise works better if you know who these men are, but let's just assume you do (and, if you don't, substitute in the names of people you do know).  Now, ask yourself, which sentence elicited a stronger response?  Names make a difference.  It becomes infinitely harder to dehumanize someone after you have a name for them.  (The reverse is true, too, a tactic employed by Ralph Ellison, the Nazi army, the Borg, and many others... Although the true unnamed protagonist is the only complete example I can give you.)

So what's so profound about that?  Well, the profundity is found in the speaker (Christ) and his addressee (a... demon).  By asking the demon for his name, Christ is essentially saying, "I don't want to de-value you."  [Insert the sound of my mind blowing here.]  We've all heard it said that we should love our enemies (Matthew 5:44), but I think even the most G-dly of us only took this imagery to that of Christ praying for those who were try to kill Him.  Seriously, who has ever pictured this to mean that Christ loves, and even prays for demons (possibly even Satan?!)?  And yet, there He is, showing respect and value for a demon.

"What is your name?"

But wait.  There's more.

My mind would be blown even if He left it there.  But, in true Jesus-fashion, He doesn't.  The demons turn around and beg Him to not throw them back in the Abyss.  They even say, "Please, please, please, please let us experience drowning rather than make us go back there!"(Side Note: How horrible must hell be for them to beg Christ to let them drown rather than return to it?)  Every time I read this, there's a part of me that expects Christ to reply, "Away from me, you vile creature!  Have you not brought this upon yourself?  Return to your prince of darkness."  I think there's ample Biblical evidence that would allow for eyelids to remain un-batted at this response.  But that's not what Christ says.  Christ turns everything about human justice on its head with His answer.

"...He gave them permission."

So let's review:

1. Christ meets a demon.
2. The demon recognizes Christ.
3. Christ doesn't assess the demon as a purely evil, lost cause.
4. Christ is polite to the demon.
5. The demon is polite back to Christ.
6. The demon begs for mercy.
7. Christ gives the demon the mercy it wanted.

All this with the henchman of the guy who tried to take over Christ's Kingdom, failed, convinced a third of the angels to abandon Christ with him, and continues to try to take over/get even by swaying Christ's beloved children to follow him.

And you think you can't be civil to the annoying person at the desk next to you?

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." -Matthew 5:43-48

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