Home and Life Orphanage Foundation

The destruction caused by the Tsunami on 26th December 2004 still leaves many people and children in southern Thailand homeless, jobless and hopeless. A huge amount of short-term aid has come in from around the world to relieve the immediate physical, psychological and spiritual needs. The present situation is that many remote Tsunami victim families still haven’t received any kind support from any government or other organizations. No work, no jobs and no income has had an enormous effect on families. Their children have difficulty going to school; this problem leads to other social issues such as youth gang culture, criminal cases, love affairs and drug abuse in the Phang Nga area. After getting enough information, and without any delay, Mr. Bhudit (Root) and Mrs. Rasa decided to build their team and establish a home for the orphans called “Home & Life” in Thaimuang district, Phang Nga province.

“Home & Life” Foundation was officially founded on 15th November 2006. The main purpose of the Foundation was to establish a self-reliant home for the children of some of the survivor families and those who lost their families. There are now 26 children and 6 adult teachers and staff under the Foundation here. Everybody at Home&Life is trying hard to build a home for the children on the rented 1 Rai land. During the daytime the children go to school and after school everybody gathers together to learn entrepreneurial skills, life lessons and participate in normal family activities to help build a solid and stable foundation for the children.

Since it started, Home & Life has gradually raised the necessary funds to keep building and improving the orphanage. The foundation has been able to increase the number of children it can support and look after. The most significant stages of its growth over the last few years have been raising funds to finance construction and maintenance projects and the development of income generated projects such as the bakery and organic gardens. The foundation receives no government funding and relies entirely on private donations. At present there are 26 children and 6 adult teachers who live at Home & Life. There is also an ongoing volunteer programme where volunteers from all over the world come and stay for various lengths of time, helping in specific projects and the day to day running of the home.

It has always been Home & Life's idea and intention to provide a family home full of love and learning for the children at Home & Life. When the foundation began we wanted to offer security and an understanding for the children that were coming here and somewhere that the children could feel part of a family. The adult staffs are treated as older family members by the children. The children are given the responsibility to help with jobs around the foundation and are responsible for keeping their rooms clean and tidy, just as they would if they lived with their parents. They are also taught valuable life lessons such as helping other people, looking after and caring for each other and working hard.

Every child goes to school and Home & Life pays for their school uniforms, books and stationery. The children also have extra English lessons each week with the Teacher Volunteer Centre and are supported if they have other interests such as singing, swimming or boxing. When they grow up and finally leave Home & Life, everyone involved wants them to be able to live successful lives and be valuable members of their communities.

"We are Thai. We have to teach our children the charm and personality of the Thai heart," says Bhudit 'Root' Maneejak, the home's founder. "We help them in the simple practice of the Thai family where the parents are the children's first teachers."

Beyond their everyday traditions and culture, the children are also taught about other religions and cultures. Regional variations are explained when teaching traditional dance and meal preparation. "We have to be sensitive to the cultural variations among our children: some are Muslim, for example, and nearly 40% are Moken Chao Lay, or sea people," says Root. "They have a very different culture, which is based on a life of living mostly at sea. Some now live in land communities and even the jungle. "We have to teach them the Moken values, as well as helping them fit into Thai ways, to make their future lives as successful as possible."

Every child is unique and wonderful - and each needs nurturing in body, mind and spirit. Teaching their cultures and traditions is one way Home & Life does this.

A Message from Manager, Root:

"Home&Life Sawasdee krap” Month by month there is a struggle for food and operating costs. Together with our self-generated income from the Home&Life Coffee Bakery shop, Crafts, etc.

We are trying and hoping to succeed, however are still very far from covering the costs for all expenses; education, food, fuel, medicine, communication, school transportation, pocket money for students, etc. These are the most important targets for the 25 growing children at Home&Life. Eventually it will not be possible without your help.

Please support by donating directly to "Home&Life Phang Nga” foundation's saving account.

Details of Bank account: Siam Commercial Bank, Khok Kloy Branch, Thailand 

Name: Home&Life Phang Nga Foundation (มูลนิธิบ้านเพื่อชีวิต พังงา ) 

Saving Account: 788 -217-213-0 

SWIFTcode: SICOTHBK 

http://www.homelifethailand.com/donateco ntact-en.html

You can be assured that every single baht you donate will directly support the Home&Life children without any administration fees.

We hope to meet you soon!

Words cannot begin to express the place in my heart held by these children.  I love them as if they are members of my own family.  I'm so thankful for Facebook so that I keep up with their lives.  If you'd like to learn more about Home & Life, please click here, or feel free to ask me!

Confessions of a Culture-Shocked Pansy

I'm going to take a break from continuity.  I promise I'll finish updating about Thailand when I have my computer back, but right now it's just another stress I don't want to think about.

I've been settled into my new/old home (What's up, Nashville?!) for about a week now.  I've got a great apartment to live in... at least until June, a car that I trust with my new niece (well... cousin's kid, but "1st cousin once removed" is too long), and I'm in the process of finding a job.  I have been Stateside for nearly a MONTH now... crazy, and I am officially experiencing "reverse culture shock."  As such, I'd like to present you with a list of things that I've noticed (good and bad):

1. Americans, in general, are a lot bigger than the rest of the people in the world... especially the people I met in Asia.  Sadly, I don't really mean taller here.  As a whole, we're an overweight people.  It's kind of overwhelming sometimes.  For example, I was sitting at the airport, and I kept feeling like a wall was walking toward me.  Yes, there are fewer people in our airports, but they're more dense.  It's a whole different kind of claustrophobia.
2. Driving is one of those things that you don't forget.  I've been rather nervous about this step, especially considering the accident I was in just before I moved to Korea, but I've now driven up and back down the East Coast, into the sunset, in the rain, at night, in the wind, and in decent conditions, and I've not hit anything.  To be honest, I'm a bit proud of myself.  Though I have noticed that when the niece is in the car, I drive about 20 mph / 30 kph below the speed limit.  I've been told that makes me a "pansy"; if that means my niece is more likely to be alive, I'll wear that title with pride.
3. People talk louder here.  They really do.  I know that's one of those things Americans get tired of hearing, but it's true.  It's a little on the obnoxious side.  I'll probably slide back into it sooner rather than later, though.  And then I'll be irritated with myself whenever I go back abroad.
4. I miss the language barrier. I walked into a coffee shop to have breakfast with a friend, and I could understand everything that everyone was saying.  I've so trained myself to listen for English that when I hear it now I can't tune it out.  Want to talk about things that are overwhelming?  Try that.  I also noticed that I so miss speaking in Korean that I was talking to myself in Korean last night.  I'm hoping that I can make some Korean friends here and solve that problem... Maybe they'll be willing to do a language exchange or something?
5. I like teaching. Sigh.  I mean, we knew that already.  I played "school" instead of "house" growing up.  Nevertheless, I think tutoring rather than teaching is a better direction for me.  I've applied for a couple of tutoring jobs to try and fill the gap that I'm sorely feeling in my life right now.
6. America is really very beautiful.  Like I said, I've been doing a lot of driving since I got back.  I hit Virginia the first week that the leaves were really changing (or so I was told), and it was breath-taking.  Even though I lived there for many years, I never really appreciated how pretty it is.  Seriously, of all the places I've been, no where else has done Fall like Virginia (and yes, I've been up to New England to see the leaves in the Fall.  Vermont doesn't even come close).
7. American food is ridiculously greasy and heavy.  I acknowledge the greasiness of Korean food, especially the "snacks," but American food is greasy in a different way, and I've already gotten sick off of it.  Granted, that's not totally the food's fault; I did allow myself some meat.  However, until I'm more used to it, I'm cooking almost all my own food.  Luckily, there's an Asian market very close to my apartment.  I'm going to go later this week (maybe even today?!) and see if I can get my hands on some kimchi and tteokboki.  (Yes.  I'm craving kimchi.  I don't want to talk about it.)
8. People say things that they think are kind that really just aren't.  I know people mean well.  At least, the people I'm thinking of do.  I'm trying to credit people for their intentions rather than their actions.  It's not always easy, though.  Please bear with me.
9. Americans really like guns.  Like.  Whoa.  Holy cow.  Was it always like this?
10. Americans really like nudity.  See above.
11. Gas prices are a lot cheaper than I was expecting them to be.  Seriously, aside from the way I felt when the man at Immigration welcomed me home, seeing gas below $3.00 (and not having it be a closed gas station) has excited me more than just about anything.
12. Speaking of which, Hearing the words "Welcome home." feels really good.  I can't explain it.  America has never felt like my home until now.  It's a really weird thing for me, and it's causing a lot of confusion in my life.
13. Reverse culture shock takes its toll on your self-esteem.  There's really not much that's more degrading than realizing you're not sure what to do in a social-setting in your home country.
14. Friends who understand are the best thing ever.  Those people who will just sit there with no expectations... who show up at your door with pizza in hand... who lay around and watch endless hours of movies even after you fall asleep... They're amazing.
15. It's easy for me to forget that Korea ever happened.  I'm back in the same town I was before I  went to Korea.  I'm doing a lot of the same things I did before I left.  The only thing that keeps reminding me that Korea happened is that I recognize far fewer people now than I did before.  It's really quite disorienting... to the point of nausea, actually.  It's kind of like that feeling that comes along with a strong medication: Everything's a little foggy... as if it could all be a hallucination.  It's rather unpleasant.
16. There are at least three different versions of Family Feud that air on a daily basis.  I think two of them may be in current syndication???  There is little that's going on that confuses me more than that does.
17. I constantly am afraid that people think I'm showing off when I read things in Korean.  I'm not.  I read things in Korean for two reasons. 1) It's the only way to get the information I'm looking for, and 2) What I'm reading is different and/or more interesting in Korean (like Harry Potter).  I'm not very good at it, and I probably can't translate it word-for-word for you or anything, but I'm getting the gist of it at least.  I'm not a poser.  I just adopted a second language that I really like and am trying to continue studying.
18. Eating out is expensive in America. And then you add TAX and a TIP... Actually...You have to tip in America.  That and non-included taxes.... gets me every time.  I miss being able to eat out for $5 a meal.  Kimbap Nara... come back to me!!!
19. Peppero Day and Veteran's Day are the same day.  How am I just now realizing this?
20. Last but not least (for now)... People decorate for holidays... specifically... Halloween??? I was at the airport just before Halloween, and decorations were EVERYWHERE.  I didn't realize that was a thing.  Or maybe I did and I just forgot.  I don't know... but it seems like a little much to me.
21. Edit: Bonus-American health insurance has nothing on Korean. I literally just started crying as I realized I can't afford a basic plan that would still bankrupt me if I went to the ER. I miss Korea. 

And there you go.  Twenty confessions of a very culture-shocked pansy.

Do you have anything you'd like me to try while in my culture-shocked state?  Let me know in the comments or via any other means of communication you have for me, and I'll see what I can do.  And, of course, I'll write about it.

Phuket Town

Though many people pick Phuket, Thailand for their vacation destination, I will be the first person to tell you that if they're in Phuket Town they've probably done it by mistake... like me.  However, it's probably one of the best mistakes I've ever made.  I loved my time there, and by the end of my week and a half, I didn't want to leave.  I was seriously contemplating cancelling my life and staying there to continuing studying Muay Thai (another post entirely).  I made some friends, and even had restaurant owners who knew my order and about what time I'd be by.  It's a small town, but I - surprisingly - fell quite in love with it.

These little guys lived right next to my favorite restaurant, so we became good friends.

Too cool for school.

Big Buddhas seem to be a global phenomenon.

The bay

This man and boy were too cute, out fishing.  The man was happy to bait the line and pass it off to the boy to real in a fish.  Between the two of them, they had a pretty good system going.  The man also was more than willing to teach some other young men who looked like they were on a tour of the area.  He was incredibly friendly about letting me take photos, too.

Flags in front of a temple at the bay

 

Behind the gym where I had my Muay Thai classes, there was a fair going on every night, so I usually ate my dinner there and people-watched.  One thing I realized: kids are kids all over the world.

Me and the motorbike I rented.  Let me tell you, nothing keeps your prayer life in tact better than renting a vehicle you've never before driven and trying to drive on the other side of the road.

Some friends from the hostel and I went to a party at a beach in the woods.  (Actually, the hostel manager went too...)  We had a lot of fun, dancing quite literally all night.

Food.  So good.

Nine Hours in Shanghai

Recently, I came across some interesting information, announcing that China had decided to allow international travels up to 72 hours within Shanghai and/or Beijing absolutely cost and Visa-free.  Thrilled at the prospect of saving $200 on the Visa, I jumped on the bandwagon, booking myself, as I so often do, a long layover in Shanghai.  My anticipation of my time behind the Silk Curtain alternated between excitement and trepidation, as all I had in my head was this very Americanized idea of iron-fisted communism, very wealthy upper classes, very poor lower classes, and a superiority complex.  Despite my efforts to have no opinions on things I've never actually experienced, China and all the stories I've heard about it has grown some ideas for me.  I knew this was just a stereotype, so I tried to put it aside, and succeeded to for the most part.  However, a few things still managed to surprise me.  My friend warned me that Shanghai is rather Westernized, so I'm a bit reluctant to form any opinions (or even completely toss out my stereotypes) about China, but this is what I saw.

The Big Three of the Far East are conveniently now
stamped on adjoining pages in my passport.

Getting through customs was surprisingly easy.  I expected people to know less English than they did and to know less about the 72-hour Visa than they did.  There was a moment when I was pulled off to the side and I worried that I was going to be detailed for questioning of some sort, but it didn't happen.  They just apparently needed a little more time for processing, since the 72-hour Visa isn't approved in advance or anything.  I was incredibly impressed that they had no problem with inspecting my itinerary off of my iPhone (Somehow, my printouts had gotten lost).  Everyone who worked at the airport, from the desk attendants to the security guards were incredibly helpful.  Way to win, Shanghai.

I was amused, I may note that the first thing I saw in China (not counting the airport, of course) was a McDonald's.  My word, they're everywhere.  I technically wasn't even off airport property, yet.  In fact, I was following a very "Secret Garden"-esque path to find the subway (note the green arrows on the road directing me to the line I needed).  I didn't stop because, anymore, even the thought of McDonald's turns my stomach (though I do partake in it occasionally if the right friend asks me to go).  I did notice that their menu seemed incredibly different from the rest of the McDonald'ses that I've seen in other places in the world, but I expected that after doing a case study on the franchise for international marketing.  (Just a tidbit worth noting if you actually do like McDonald's: Every region in the world has a unique McDonald's menu, catering to the specific preferences of the people there.)

I opted to take the subway (line 2) through Shanghai, as both airports are on it, and I needed to make an airport change.  I had read that you could pay a shuttle to take you across in about an hour, but I found the subway first, it was cheaper, and I figured I'd get a feel for the culture better on the subway than in a van.  So I put my Shanghai Subway Map app to work.  Not that I really needed it... like I said, both stops were on the same line.  In fact, everything I wanted to do was on that line.  But it was comforting to have nonetheless.

Things worth knowing if you ever decide to do this on your own: You cannot change from the 10 line to the 2 line at Hongqiao Airport T2 without paying again.  You must go one stop past T2 to do this.  Somewhere in the middle of the Line 2 (I don't remember exactly which stop), I had to change trains.  It wasn't hard at all.  I just got out and hopped on the next one going the same direction.  Everyone has to do it at that point, so just go with the flow.

While I was spending time on the subway (maybe about an hour and a half, give or take 15 minutes), I was surprised to run into a goodly number of German people.  Well... I guess that's relative.  I think I saw maybe 5 non-Asian people the whole day.  I struck up a conversation with one man that was pretty interesting.  He gave me some good tips on what to see.  I kept wanting to use my Korean to talk to people, though I knew it would do me no good, and I only know two words in Mandarin, though I doubt my tonality is correct.  Nevertheless, I used my two words.  For everything else, I smiled and bowed a lot.  This, however, seemed to go over well, and an older couple on the subway adopted me, praising my ability to get a seat in spite of being foreign and lugging some pretty serious luggage with me.  When we switched trains, they took up extra space on the bench to save me a seat.  It blew my mind that they would do that for me.  In my experience, that kind of kindness to a stranger is nearly unheard of in the East.  Let me emphasize nearly unheard of.  It's not that people are being mean or anything... it's just a cultural thing.  The two were so sweet.  We spent a lot of time smiling at each other, and the grandmother (I want to call her 아줌마, or 할머니, though neither of those are really appropriate as, once again, she was not Korean) made sure I saw that there were white people on the TV at one point (They were German, but it's the thought that counts).  Seriously, they just melted my heart and made my day.

Skipping forward, as this is already getting long, and I haven't even begun to talk about my sightseeing yet, I decided to go ahead and check in for my flight as soon as I got to the other airport.  It seemed like the easiest way to ditch most of my luggage, and, since the line was gigantic, I figured it was better to be safe than sorry.

Asia never leaves you room to doubt where you are.  My word, there are PEOPLE in Asia. 

It actually moved faster than I feared it would, so I was able to grab a locker for my carry-on stuff and hit the Mag Lev train within an hour of my arrival.  In case you don't know what the Mag Lev train is, it does this:

Me, super excited about how fast we were traveling.

As a result, I was able to chop about half an hour from my travel time.  Maybe more.  I didn't pay enough attention on the way in.

I had thought about going to see the infamous Bund at E. Nanjing Road, but I wasn't really feeling it by the time Lujiazui Street came up, so I hopped off on a whim and figured I'd look around.  It turned out to be a good choice, because the Oriental Pearl Tower was right outside the exit.  It is my opinion that the Pearl is on of the coolest looking pieces of architecture out there, and it's certainly one of the most distinctive buildings in Shanghai, so I was thrilled with my choice.  I was so thrilled, in fact, that I dropped most of my spending money on a ticket to the very top of the thing.  That turned out to be okay, though, because it was incredibly time-consuming.  I didn't have a chance to go anywhere else, and I somewhat wish I'd had more time to spend within the Pearl.  Nevertheless, I'm very glad that was where I chose to spend my time in Shanghai, mostly because it felt like I could see the whole city from the top, but also because of all the cool things that I kept finding on each level.  I do wish I had realized they were there so I could have paced myself better.  I ended up getting so frustrated as I was having to bypass things on the way out to make it back to the airport on time to catch my flight.  I did make time for a quick peek at the various observation decks, though.  Each one had a different view worth seeing.

I still got to see The Bund... just from a different angle than people had suggested.

The downward-facing observation deck was somewhat panic-inducing, to the point that I saw several people flat out lay down on the glass once they looked down, but I am proud to announce that I stayed upright (though I did walk incredibly slowly and lightly to get my way back to opaque ground).  I'm not sure why people don't really think about how high up they are until you put glass under them, but that seems to be the norm.  I suppose that's why we're always advised to "don't look down"... not that that ever stops anyone, but it at least makes a little more sense now.

I had thought ahead enough to make sure I grabbed a dumpling (For those who know what it is, this was definitely a 왕만두 and not anything remotely resembling what I imagined a Chinese dumpling to be.) and my customary new country Coke (another company that changes its recipe from region to region) to eat as I waited to get into the Pearl.  This turned out to be excellent planning, as I ended up needed to be one of those obnoxious people who asked if they could cut in front of everyone to make it back to the airport.  There was definitely some self-loathing that happened then, but I sucked it up and did what I had to.

Outside the Pearl, there were taxis waiting, just as I'd read there would be.  Even though I was positive (and I'm still pretty sure I was right) that the subway would be faster, my anxiety about the potential to miss my flight had me jump into the nearest mode of transportation I could find.  I was proud of myself for the ease with which I haggled with the driver over the price.  I didn't even stop to think about it.  It's not like I haggle all that much in Korea, but I guess living there has just made me more confident with the idea of doing it.  Once in the cab, I managed to convince myself to relax, and the driver and I had a nice chat about how awesome he thinks President Obama and Americans in general are.  I smiled and thanked him, then spent the next few minutes trying to figure out what America could have possibly done for China to make this man think our country is all that cool, but gave up on it when I realized that I could be taking advantage of the fact that I was now above ground for a part of the city that I'd only seen below ground and film my cab ride.  One incredibly close call between my hand and the front end of a bus later, we got this:

Welcome to China friends.

Getting back on the Mag Lev was amazingly easy, especially since my driver literally pulled up to the station stairs for me, proclaiming his love for Americans the whole time.  Getting through security at the airport was only marginally more difficult.  My customs security man was very chatty and curious about what I was doing in Korea and Thailand, but I just kept on smiling and answering.  I didn't even check my watch once (which, after estimating the time wrong in London and missing out on the London Eye during my first ever long layover, I had set for China time before I ever left Seoul).  Be proud of me.  I ended up having enough time to shop for a couple little people who are in my life before feeling the need to go wait by my gate.  Sadly, you have to have access to texting in China to get the airports free WiFi, but I can survive unplugged (usually), so it wasn't that bad of a wait.

Incidentally, I noticed  a family with what looked like twin young girls on the Mag Lev the second time.  I actually noticed several families throughout the day that were clearly Chinese and clearly had multiple children.  I had been under the impression that Chinese families were only allowed one child, but now I'm starting to wonder if that also was a misconception.

I will say, however, my experience with my airline, China Eastern, was not one that I ever intend on repeating.  A weight debacle that ended up costing me $200 and a lovely reinterpretation of the definition of "special vegetarian meal that you ordered" (confiscation of the main meat dish without replacing it with anything else) was enough to make me add them to my airline blacklist.  (Also on that list are Delta and Virgin, in case you were wondering.  Airports that made the list are Bangor, ME; Sofia, Bulgaria; and Jakarta, Indonesia... not that you can completely vow off an airport, but I'd like to avoid them as much as possible.  Incidentally, Turkish Air and American Airlines have made what I'd call a graylist for various reasons... Just proceed in booking with them with caution.)

All in all, for the traveler with the short attention span like me, I think this 72-hour Visa is definitely worth while.  I fully intend on taking advantage of it to see Beijing when I get the chance, especially now that I know how to anticipate things (though, let me tell you, it may take the full 72-hours just to navigate the Beijing airport, from what I hear...) and feel more confident that I'm not going to get arrested for simply thinking Western thoughts in China.  Hopefully this new Visa policy is going to be around for a good while, because I'm really liking it. 

Korea: Two Years in Four Minutes

And just in case you wanted to watch this on your phone, too:

Goodbye, Korea

It's so hard to believe that two years (and one month) have come to an end.  It's crazy to think that in that short of a time I would have come to identify myself with a culture so distinctly different from the one into which I was born.  However, at the same time, I don't really fit there either.

Ever since I got my passport, I've felt my culture slipping away from me.  But never have I felt more like a cultural island than I do now.  I don't really find this to be a bad thing; I like the culture I've created for myself, gleaning from all of those that I've visited.  But it's going to be interesting when I enter back into America, where people will be expecting me to pick back up the American culture.  See, one of the joys of being waygookin is that there isn't very much that's expected of me.  For the most part, I'm free to be whatever I want.  I'm not sure how I'm going to react to being back in the States when that is gone.

Because here's the thing.

The plan has changed.

This doesn't surprise me, because the plan was based on Korean culture, in which things are likely to change drastically, even in the middle of implementation, but it will probably surprise those of you who are unused to Korean culture.

A couple of weeks ago, I found out that, due to governmental reasons in India, I would be unable to take up my position there.  At the same time, I was offered a missionary position in Australia, working with Aboriginal children.  As my pastor explained it to me, I became more and more disheartened by the prospect.  They're a group of children that have grown up in an environment that puts no emphasis on education, due to government hand-outs.  The stipends are actually large enough that the people don't really need to value education.  The community is also riddled with drug and alcohol abuse.  My pastor asked me to go and join the effort to convince this community of the value of education, a feat that has been attempted by many and successful by none, save the minimal progress our church has made.  In short, it sounded like all the things I like least about teaching.

With a clenched stomach, I asked my pastor for time to pray about it, and he gave me two weeks.

As many of you probably know by now, during that time, I made a quick trip back to the US.  I was overwhelmed by a desire to be there before I had to make the choice.  In the past, I have always felt trapped in the US, to the point that my family and I have assumed for many years that I would be spending all of my adult life living outside of the States.  Nevertheless, in the past months, I have been growing increasingly homesick.  I didn't mention it, chalking it up to this factor or that factor, but it didn't go away.  I wanted to see if it would if I stepped foot in the mother country, and all the opportunities lined up for me to do just that.  I found an incredibly cheap plane ticket.  Appointments got canceled (without my doing so).  Schedules were rearranged.  And I found myself on a flight back to Nashville.

As soon as I saw the city unfurl beneath the plane, I had my answer.  I've never felt like I had a home before, but seeing that city... I knew I finally had one.  I was so giddy I started giggling and bouncing my legs in excitement.  But I was reluctant to admit I had my answer.  I knew what I wanted, but I needed to make sure it lined up with what G-d wanted.  So I waited and prayed.

As much as everything went right in preparation for the trip, everything went wrong while I was there.  And yet, I was still overwhelmed with peace and excitement when I thought about moving back.  In the end, I gave into it, and though I felt frustrated with many things happening around me, I could center myself in knowing that I was on the right path in my decision to return to the States.

Upon my return to Korea, I spent the greater part of my first morning back in bed, mulling over my trip and my decision... and praying.  Oh, how I prayed!  And, suddenly, a plan washed over me... It was like it was being shown to me in its completeness rather than developing as I laid there.

It is now my intention to go to graduate school to pursue a masters in Music Therapy with the ultimate goal of opening the Jim Foglesong Center for Fine Arts, which will be both a fine arts school and therapy center.  I have so many ideas for it that I could write and write about it, but I think I'd overwhelm you all, so I'll save that for another time.

The moral of the story is this: I'm coming back, and I know that I am on G-d's path.  I don't know if that path will end where I think it will right now, but I do know that it's the right one.

Incidentally, this also means that I will have to make severe cuts to my travel plans, as I need to be preparing for an audition on December 7.

Thank you for all of your love and support.

Foredated: September 11, 2013

I really wanted to post this on September 11 at 8:45 am EST, but life prevented me from being able to do that.  I suppose I should have typed it up in advance, but it wasn't a possibility; I'm sorry.  But these thoughts seemed poignant enough to me to type up and post for you anyway.

On September 11, 2013, 8:44am something monumental happened.  As the clock ticked down, Americans my age - arguably the youngest people on the planet to remember a pre-9/11 life - lived the last minute that they would while still having lived the majority of their lives in relative safety.

I'd like to say that we felt ourselves untouchable until 9/11, but that's a lie.  We weren't, and only the naïve believed otherwise.  Peal Harbor, Oklahoma City, Columbine... We knew better.  But it was something about September 11 that felt so different.  I think it may be because our own assets were used against us.  Whatever it was, America changed drastically afterward; rather than doubling down and coming up stronger, we signed away our rights hand-over-fist and reacted in fear.  I was with everyone else at the time, though... we may want to ask ourselves if it should really be considered an achievement to have a 12-year-old agree with the action our government took.  I remember my mother warning me against it all, and I replied that we'd deal with any problems that arose when we came to them.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've come to them (Read: Syria), but that's another story for another time.

My point is this:
I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a pre-Septemeber-Eleventh World.

I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a world where I can accompany my loved ones to their airplane.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life not having to worry about how complicated my shoes are before going to the airport.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life being able to be fully hydrated on a plane.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a country where Aladdin wouldn't be feared if he lived in it.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a time when I didn't have to worry if the person next to me started playing with their shoes.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life being unable to ask a flight attendant if the small person next to me (or, heck, I myself) could meet the pilot.
I've no longer lived the majority of my life without double, triple, quadruple checking everything I say while traveling.

I've no longer lived the majority of my life in a country that wasn't dominated by manipulation playing off people's fear.


And I'm not sure how to react to that.

My Love Affair with the Barrier

One thing I've noticed is how much my friends and I talk about the frustrations of living with a daily language barrier in our lives, and, even if we're not talking about it, we're basically always thinking about it.  You never realize what a big deal it is until you try to live in another country.  For example, try ordering food off a menu that looks like this:

You may be fairly sure you know what you're getting, but if you have any dietary restrictions, it gets pretty stressful.  Or maybe you want to find things after a store rearranges its shelves  Heaven help you if you want someone's opinion about an item or if you want to convince a doctor you'd prefer a natural remedy to medicine.  The language barrier changes our lives in drastic ways here, and we frequently find ourselves discontent with those changes.

As my two-year anniversary with Korea has been drawing closer and my time here wrapping down, I've found myself growing increasingly nostalgic and analytical (those may seem like strange bedfellows to you, but I feel confident that anyone with a background in philosophy or psychology will make the connection).  I've been thinking over all my time here, and I've come to a conclusion: For better or for worse, I'm in love with the language barrier.  Certainly, we have our bad moments, our arguments, but, overall, I think it's a pretty good relationship, full of give and take.  I already drew a picture of how frustrating the barrier can be, but let me show you some of its more wonderful qualities.

• I think one of my most (selfishly) favorite parts of the barrier is it's ability to hide me when I don't want to talk to people.  Thanks to the culture of my city and its particular barrier, I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to.  There are, of course, Korean-speakers here, and there are a good amount of English-speakers, but what you don't know is that there is a decent-sized Russian-speaking population here as well.  As a result, I can sit around and ignore all language that comes past me, and people will just assume I don't speak whatever language they've got going.  It's an introvert's heaven (well... in that aspect, at least).

• I am now much better at charades.

• Not being able to find things / communicate what I'm trying to find has helped me learn to prioritize: Do I really need this?  Would it be that big of a deal if I can't find it?  I've learned to let go of things that aren't so important and be persistent about that which is.

• But the absolute best part of the language barrier is this: I have built friendships that are not based on knowing the trivia of each other's lives.  We are friends because we care about each other.  We see each other on a regular basis and we've learned to read each others' body language.  We cobble together our own language for communication, but that's not the core of the relationship.  Smiles, waves, and laughter; frowns, sighs, and even tears - This is the foundation of these relationships.  These people have actively and repeatedly looked out for my best interests.  I may not be able to tell you their favorite food or type of movie, but I can tell you when they're having a good day, and that, I think, is much more important. 

If you never read anything else I write, read this.

I may have had the biggest revelation of my life today - just now, in fact - and I'm verbalizing it here for the first time, because I wish I had come to realize this sooner.  So I want to share it with everyone as soon as I possibly can in the hopes that it will click with them and help them not to dismiss things as antiquated rules simply because we don't understand them.

In fact, everything in the Bible just took on new, deeper meaning in light of this.  As soon as I finish here, I'm going back to reread as much of it as I can before I fall asleep.  The more I think about it all, the more excited I get.

It really all makes perfect, simple sense.

Once you can fully (well, as close to fully as possible) wrap your mind around this one fact:

G-d is not a linear being.

Don't get intimidated by the science/math speak and click away.  This is important to understand.

To reach a bigger audience, I want to also reference Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time.  In the book, the characters utilize something called a Tesseract.  L'Engle's explanation of this (below) has helped me to understand G-d a bit more.

We, like all things on this planet, exist in a linear fashion, with a definite beginning and a definite end (at least while we're on Earth).  We currently exist in the same state as the insect was originally.  We have never known anything outside of that state and cannot fathom anything outside of that state, much like a fetus cannot fathom anything so otherworldly as breathing air.  The latter state, the simplest explanation of a Tesseract, is so far outside of a line, that linear beings cannot really comprehend it.

Now, I'm not so audacious as to claim that G-d exists in a state of Tesseract.  Personally, I believe He exists in a plane beyond that somewhere.  My point is that, G-d exists in a state that encompasses our own so completely that we cannot comprehend it; it could never fit into our understanding.  This also means that He encompasses our entire state of being at all times.

Let me break down what this means a little bit.

G-d is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.  Yes.  Of course.  Because all of those times exist simultaneously for Him.  It's not so much that He's unchanging as He's omnipresent.  Those are all the same thing.  A=A.  It's like thinking, "Wow, this bite of doughnut that I'm chewing still happens to taste good!" - It's ridiculous to think anything else.  All of those are subpar explanations, but I hope you were expecting that, because, as I said, we're dealing with something outside of our scope of experience.

Everything the Bible says about sex and marriage that we don't really like... Yeah, G-d knew what He was talking about.  Of course.  Of course it's cheating on your future spouse to sleep with anyone else (Hebrews 13:4, among many others).  In fact, the much debated (even taboo) verse in the Bible that says not to divorce and not to remarry if you do (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) makes sense in light of this.  G-d is in all of our moments at the same time, so, to Him, we are too.  To us it feels like it's all unfolding slowly: things end; other things start.  But not to G-d.  To Him, I was just as married to my (hopefully existent) husband the day I was born as I will be on our 50th wedding anniversary.  Anything I do "before" or "after" I meet him is just the same to G-d.

Sin really does irrevocably separate us from G-d.  And nothing, NOTHING we ever do can change that.  It's not that He wants that.  It's devastating for Him.  But that's simply the plain, honest truth.  Think about the magnitude of this thing: If all moments are actually one moment, then we are constantly committing each and every sin in our lives.  There is nothing we can do.  Nothing.

The magnitude of what Christ did on the cross is heart-stopping.  Every moment for all of eternity in every direction and every plane of existence, Christ is being tortured to death to atone for those sins that also exist on that spectrum.  Every sin we could possible commit is erased the moment we do it, because Christ takes it on in that moment.  We are constantly clean.  We are constantly made new.

All praise to G-d, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. (Eph. 1:3 NLT)