A couple of years ago, my friend Meret told me that she felt like she had two paths in front of her that she could take. Both of these paths would shape her life in drastic ways, and both of these paths seemed to have the "okay" from G-d. At the time, I didn't understand how that could be possible, but now I do. I am being confronted with two paths, and I feel like G-d would be perfectly fine with my choice, no matter which one it was.
On one hand, I could easily see myself staying in Korea and becoming what we call a "lifer," meaning I turn this into my career and settle here. I have a great school, co-teachers that I adore, a pet rabbit that I haven't killed, a young woman who I'm introducing to G-d, and some great friends.
On the other hand, I hear that Still Small Voice saying, "Or, you could Go to the land that I will show you." There is peace and terror in this option at the same time. There is peace in that I know this is G-d whispering in my ear, leading me to something He has designed me to be able to do. There is terror in that He has not specified where or when as the alternative to a comfortable, secure life. This is not like Abraham's day and age; I cannot buy a plane ticket to "the land I will show you."
I have chosen the second path (for now).
As of two weeks ago, I turned in my notice of my intention to resign from my position in Korea at the end of August. I have yet to sign anything, so there is still some wiggle room on that, but I feel confident that, for now, this is the better of the two choices.
What this doesn't mean:
- This doesn't mean that I'm moving back to America. I would be incredibly surprised if G-d led me there.
- This doesn't mean that I will for sure be resigning. As I said, nothing's in stone yet.
- This doesn't mean that I won't come back to Korea after some time. In fact, I hope to be able to return and teach here again in the future.
What this does mean:
- This does mean that I'm hoping to visit the USA for a month or so. This is very tentative, so please don't get too excited yet, but it is my hope to do a tour around the States and see all the people I've been missing for the past year and a half.
- This does mean that I am in a period of serious prayer and stepping out on the limb of faith. I have no idea where I am to "Go," but I'm beginning to have some inklings as to where it's not.
What I need from you:
- I could very much use your prayers. I need discretion and faith, a quiet heart and an open mind.
- Patience. I know from being on your end of this conversation that all you probably want to do is ask me questions about what my plans are, because you're honestly interested. Please don't right now; I don't have the answers you want yet.
- Suggestions. If you know of a missionary opportunity anywhere in the world, I'd be interested in hearing about it. Ideally, I'd like a position working with children at risk of being trafficked (in a warm country) and/or a non-tent maker missionary position. Again, that's my ideal position as far as I know, but I know that G-d could have something else in mind that's completely out in left field, so I'm not tied to that idea. So, if you know of something, please pass it on.
Thank you so much for being here for me this past year and a half. I'm excited to see where this journey will take us next.