Friday, January 13, 2012

Anne has been dead for 6 months. (Don't panic.)

Today marks 6 months from the day Anne died.

6 months from the day my car spun through three lanes of interstate, ricocheted off the guard rail, and came to a stop directly in front of a semi.

6 months from the day I couldn't leave my car of my own volition.

6 months from the day I looked up and said, "Game over."

6 months from the day I looked into the eyes of the police officer and said, "No, you don't understand: I was the driver," and I couldn't make him believe me.

6 months from the day that everything was stripped away.

No one could explain it - not the doctor, not TDOT, not the EMTs, not the police officer.  My gas tank was still in tact, while all other fluid containers were shredded, even though the entire area of the car around it was melted and crushed past the point of movement.  Not a drop of my blood was spilt, even though there were foot-long pieces of glass found in my car, and various pieces of my stereo system found their way out my back windshield.  The semi managed to stop with tread marks no longer than six feet, even though the speed limit (to which no one adheres) was 70mph.  To this day, no one can explain it.

There's only one possibility: a miracle of unexplainable proportions.

There is no doubt in my mind, that, if not for G-d's intervention, I would be dead, a smear on that highway.  So I say:

Six months ago, all that was Anne died.  

All that was left was G-d.

The things that were of me are gone.  I've noticed a marked difference.  I am truly coming to believe that if I consciously start to revert to the things that were Anne, rather than G-d, I will start to die, because those things are literally death for me.  Only G-d is life.  He is the only thing that kept me from death.

It's hard to fully explain the logic, to verbalize what my spirit has been telling me, but I hope you can understand.  I hope you will pray for me to remember.  I hope it won't take your death to make you see life.


No comments:

Post a Comment