Saturday, June 9, 2012

Restraint and the preference against it

I love my students so stinking much.  I just thought you should know that.  It's really been hitting me the past couple of weeks, ever since I started thinking more about them and less about me.  Yes, there are times that I raise my voice.  Yes, there are times that I yell at them (because that seems to be all they respond to).  Yes, there are times that I make them feel ashamed of themselves.  But it's occurred to me that I would fight to the death for these kids.

This instinct has become so strong in me that I'm often having to check myself: "'Venegeance is mine; I will repay,' saith the L-RD."  It's hard for me, because one of my strongest desires in this world is to do to child abusers exactly what they do to their victims.  I honestly and truly think I could tear someone limb-from-limb if I saw them lay a hand on a child, especially one of my students (Luckily, this has not yet been put to the test.  I'm a little scared of it, because I don't know for sure that I could control myself.), but that is not right; that is not holy.  Sometimes it's so so hard to do the right thing.

But G-d loves all people.  Yes, He especially loves children, but that does not take away from His love for their abusers, neglecters, and destroyers.  G-d is amazing, unfathomable, and perfect.  I, clearly, am not, and I praise Him for that.  "You are so high among the highest, and I am low among the lowest, a mean thing."

Blimey Cow photo-a-day 09. Make it a milkshake, baby.
I'm a freak.  I hate milkshakes.  So, I walked into the 7-11 downstairs, and shook some milk.  I had a rabbit in the bag on my shoulder to distract anyone who noticed.

No... I'm not crazy...

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